Xanh

Posted on 11/04/2013 by Randomly Edible

Xanh is a Vietnamese restaurant. The sign outside specifically mentions this, I assume to prevent would-be customers from confusing the place with a Piers Anthony novel. Really though, Xanh is more of an Asian fusion type of eatery centered around Vietnamese themes. Don’t let the extremely posh post-modern decor fool you; there are some tasty eats to be found here.

“We need to get going. We’re meeting people for dinner tonight, remember?” my wife said.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” I lied. “I was just going to get dressed.” I changed into some socially acceptable clothes, grabbed the car keys, and drove us to downtown Mountain View.

I had no idea there was a night club on board the Starship Enterprise.

” We felt somewhat on display as we thumb wrestled crustaceans “

As we walked into the back entrance of Xahn, I was immediately struck by the über-chic decor and the muted beatnik electronica rhythms pulsing through the restaurant’s invisible sound system. The overall ambience is about halfway between a black-turtlenecks-only spoken word coffee bar and a full blown rave. Excitingly hidden colored lights abound throughout the establishment, pointing at all sorts of interesting angles and highlighting pretty much everything.

They’re trying too hard to be hip,” said my better half.

“Well, yeah, but they’re kind of doing it,” I replied. As I looked around the crazy decor I noticed a quiet section of wall where half a dozen Michelin Guide dining awards hung. That was a surprise, and also a good sign.

This particular wall is decorated like an alcoholic police car.

The people we were supposed to meet hadn’t arrived yet, so we decided to have a drink while we waited. Although the wide selection of on-tap beers made me very happy, I immediately felt way too old to be sitting at the clinically modern bar. In fact, nearly everybody I know would be either too old to be at this bar or simply not old enough to drink. Take your current age in years and subtract 21; that’s how many years ago you should have hung out here, but certainly not now. If you asked me to describe the bar’s decor with a single, hyphenated phrase (Let’s just pretend like you did), I would call it “techno-sterile.”

We decided that a table would be a better place for us to hang out, so we sat down and began reviewing the extensive menus. “XANH” was stylistically written in large, modern font across the cover of each menu. I couldn’t help but notice that, when viewed upside-down (i.e., from the other side of the table) it spelled “HNVX”, which just so happens to be the sound a Rottweiler makes when choking on a kazoo. It’s an odd thing to print on a menu cover.

Primiti too taa nnz kkr muu?

We ordered some crispy pot stickers and Kobe rolls as appetizers, and in just a couple of minutes they arrived at our table; HNVX certainly receives high marks for prompt service. As advertised, the pot stickers were crispy and delectable, the chicken-and-shrimp filling was excellent, and the soy vinaigrette was a wonderful addition. The real star for me were the Kobe rolls, which were very much like traditional spring rolls with the added bonus of delicious steak. The crispy shallots sprinkled across the plate were like miniature oniony potato chips, only better. The provided clear sauce was so mild, however, that it almost had no flavor at all. It wasn’t bad per se, it was just mostly a why-bother type of affair.

Each pot sticker was inexplicably perched atop a weird and stumpy spoon-ladel. Alrighty then.

As we finished the appetizers, I noted that our dinner double date was now officially 30 minutes tardy. Suddenly, my spouse declared, “Oh, I just realized that we’re supposed to be meeting them next weekend, not today. Sorry! Should we order dinner?”

Oh for the sake of… You know what though? This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. We got to eat at a new restaurant and try a couple things on the menu we normally wouldn’t have. We confided the scheduling error to the understanding and patient waitstaff, booked another table for the following weekend, and ordered some shrimp with garlic noodles (one of HNVX’s most popular entrees) to share.

Release the Kraken!

The garlic noodles were quite good, but honestly they were not the very best I’ve ever had. I would certainly order them again, and in fact I’d recommend that you do so as well, but for me they weren’t a drop-everything type of dish. The shrimp were also very tasty but again, not alone worth seeking out this restaurant for. One of my problems with this entree in particular was how difficult it was to eat. The shrimp themselves were large enough to require license plates, but the only utensils we were provided were a fork, a spoon, and a pair of slippery metal chopsticks. Our options were to A) pick up a shrimp with chopsticks and chew on the end of it, B) stab a shrimp with a fork and chew on the end of it, C) attempt to saw a shrimp in half using a spoon, or D) eat the entire dish with our hands, primate style. None of these options worked out very well (we had a minor noodle explosion at one point) and we felt somewhat on display as we thumb wrestled crustaceans amidst the stylish and surgically clean decor.

In the end I found that I had enjoyed HNVX (ok, Xanh) quite a bit in spite of its idiosyncrasies and “sleepy rave” decor. I rate it 32 out of 40 backlit vodka bottles, making it worth the trek to Mountain View if you’re reasonably near the area. The food was very good, the service was quick, and the bill was reasonable. I’m looking forward to exploring the menu further when we head back here next weekend, but I need to shop for black turtlenecks and glow sticks first.

Xanh
110 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
(650) 964-1888
www.xanhrestaurant.com

UPDATE
This restaurant is so nice I reviewed it twice: Random Revisit: Xanh

These little gems were Kobe-licious.

The Melt

Posted on 10/11/2013 by Randomly Edible

The people who work at The Melt have been spying on me. They must have been. It’s one thing for a restaurant to have exactly what I want to eat and just the right sides and drinks, but to have only those things? Yeah, coincidence my butt.

The other day I found myself wandering around Stanford Shopping Center, a well-to-do outdoorsy mall type place right in the middle of Palo Alto. It’s a nice place to shop and all, but it’s not really my cup of tea. If I was in the market for a size minus three cocktail dress or a Swarovski encrusted penguin, I’d probably think this mall was the bees knees. What I really wanted was lunch, though, and the standard mall fare I’d found so far just wasn’t cutting it. After what seemed like tens of minutes of searching, I finally located a directory with actual directions on it. (Mini rant: Why has every mall in America replaced their maps with advertisements? Ads do no good at all if I can’t find the stupid stores they go to.) As I scanned the the directory I spied The Melt. That sounded to me like either a heated yoga studio or a Modern English souvenir store, both very likely choices in a place like Palo Alto. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check it out.

With a name like The Melt, there’d better be cheese involved. Lots of it.

I made my way to the other end of the mall, dodging Armani baby strollers by the dozen and doing a pretty good OJ-Simpson-in-an-airport impersonation in the process. As I made my way through yet another swarm of people in overpriced Pilates outfits, I caught a glimpse of The Melt. The restaurant sports a clean, utopian orange-and-white color scheme and a menu straight out of my dreams.

First thing on the menu: Grilled cheese. OMG

Second thing on the menu: Grilled cheese. …and then I fainted.

The interior decorating style is half In-N-Out Burger, half IKEA.

” That sounded to me like either a heated yoga studio or a Modern English souvenir store “

The entire menu, in fact, revolves around this single, exquisitely perfect food. There are different choices for bread, cheese, and various add-ins (like bacon!), and there are also soups and salads to be had. The beverage menu is equally brief, with the primary choices being iced tea, lemonade, and water. It’s perfect.

It took me exactly 12.7 seconds to notice the Mac Daddy, a grilled cheese WITH MACARONI AND CHEESE IN IT. Holy heck I love this place. One of those please with, oh yes, a side Caesar salad and an iced tea. Talk about a slam dunk. To top things off the cashier asked, “Would you like chips or a pickle?” PICKLE! Hot dang this place is on fire.

Macaroni and cheese IN a grilled cheese sandwich. *eye twitch*

I filled up the environmentally friendly plastic-like cup with tea and settled down to enjoy my golden, crispy, macaroni-y lunch. The thing that surprised me was not the high quality of the food, but how well portioned everything was. My grilled cheese wasn’t a super duper über mega glutton-size sandwich – it was just a sandwich. The iced tea was a respectable (and refillable) 20 ounces, and the salad was …well, salad-sized. Outstanding. It was just enough to eat without making me split my pants, and yet it was still delicious and awesome. Somewhere along the way our society has managed to forget that more doesn’t always equal better; it’s nice to see that someone remembered. Add to that some snazzy online ordering tools and lightning quick service, and we’ve got ourselves a real winner here.

If I had to nitpick something, it would be what my lunch was served in. Instead of plates or plastic containers, The Melt opts for reusable wire mesh baskets lined with a single sheet of what looks like wax paper. I well and truly appreciate the environmentally friendly approach – really, I do – but eating salad off of a piece of paper just doesn’t work. By the end of my meal the paper had soaked through with dressing, leaving large soggy holes for the lettuce to fall through to the maybe-clean counter top directly below. Gross.

In spite of the eating receptacle issues, I rate The Melt a phenomenal 9.3 out of 10 metric tons of cheddar. If you’re a grilled cheese fanatic like I am, you owe it to yourself to grab a bite here.

The Melt
Multiple locations around the Bay Area (and many other places)
www.themelt.com

I may never eat anywhere else again.

India Gourmet

Posted on 09/07/2013 by Randomly Edible

I find it difficult to even type the words “India Gourmet” without my stomach gurgling. Their chicken tikka masala naan wrap is probably in my top 10 favorite foods of all time. I say “probably” because I am not organized enough to actually have put together such a list, so we’ll never know for sure.

Neener neener. You guys are still waiting in line, but I have my wrap already.

” More meat, less feet. That’s my kind of bird.”

India Gourmet – *gurgle* – is a food vendor that shows up at various farmers’ markets around the Bay Area. They currently attend Santa Clara’s weekly shindig on Saturdays, and they can also be found at the Campbell farmers’ market on Sundays; they have also been known to make a showing in San Francisco, San Leandro, and San Jose. Whatever you have scheduled for this upcoming week, cancel it. It’s well worth the effort to seek this place out, trust me.

One of each please. No really, one of each.

I’ve tried about half the menu at India Gourmet, mostly just to say that I have. Everything they make is great, but the chicken tikka masala… Holy schnikes. It’s an exceptionally creamy and flavorful version of the dish, and not too spicy. I would consider it mild, but some people I know (*cough* pansies) think it’s closer to medium. The chicken itself is absolutely divine. It’s 100% white meat, cooked perfectly, and contains absolutely no unidentifiable chewy bits. More meat, less feet. That’s my kind of bird.

The naan is made to order right on the spot using a gravity-defying cylindrical oven thing. I’ve been told this mysterious appliance is called a tandoor, but to me it will always be R2-D2’s friendly naan-making cousin. This magical flatbread droid makes me very, very happy.

Help me Obi-Naan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

When you order up a wrap, you get several generous scoops of chicken tikka masala ladled over a heap of lovely rice (to soak up all the saucy goodness) and rolled up in a fresh naan straight out of the robot’s head. Like many other ridiculously awesome foods, this thing is messy. Peel back as much of the foil as you dare, take a bite, and hang on for dear life. You are all but guaranteed to be wearing curry on your clothing within a few minutes, but you won’t care. Once the incredible flavor of the naan wrap hits home you will probably begin laughing and crying at the same time or, if you’re me, you’ll just slump to the floor in a drooling, euphoric stupor.

India Gourmet earns an exceedingly rare perfect 16 out of 16 curry-colored shirt stains. Get in your car, buy a plane ticket… Just do whatever it takes to pay India Gourmet a visit.

India Gourmet
(415) 751-0505
www.indiaclayoven.com

This is bucket list material, no question.

Oh Boba!

Posted on 08/27/2013 by Randomly Edible

Against all odds, I’m a big fan of bubble tea. I usually don’t like squishy things, and I absolutely detest weird gunk floating around in my drinks… and that just about exactly describes what bubble tea is. For a slightly more specific definition, I decided to plagiarize Wikipedia:

Bubble tea, also known as pearl milk tea or boba milk tea, is a Taiwanese tea-based drink invented in tea shops in Taichung, Taiwan, during the 1980s. Most bubble tea recipes contain a tea base mixed with fruit or milk. Ice-blended versions are usually mixed with fruit or syrup, resulting in a slushy consistency. Most bubble teas come with small chewy tapioca balls (粉圓, fěnyuán), commonly called “pearls” (珍珠, zhēnzhū) or “boba” (波霸, bōbà).

Why exactly I like this stuff so much I have no clue, but it seems I’m not alone in the world. When I discovered that Oh Boba!, an independent non-chain bubble tea shop, was opening right down the street, I was pretty excited.

This shop is located more-or-less right across the street from Santa Clara University, and for that reason alone I am confident that they’ll do just fine as a business. Oh Boba! is not a very large establishment but the interior is neat and clean, if not a bit spartan, and the staff is always friendly and attentive. The outside of the building, unfortunately, is quite hideous; please do not let that fact deter from you visiting. The vast ugliness of the structure is of course the fault of the property’s landlord, in whose general direction I scoff repeatedly. This building has literally the worst stucco I have ever seen. It looks like a cement truck exploded inside a roller disco.

It’s a rock climbing wall! No, it’s a fingerpainting!

” It looks like a cement truck exploded inside a roller disco “

Once inside, thank goodness, you will see a huge menu of drinks (as is the way of most bubble tea shops) and a handful of food items as well. You can choose from hot or cold beverages, slushes, snow (like a slush, only with milk), and a variety of teas. They also make a wickedly strong Vietnamese iced coffee which contains enough sugar and caffeine to make you run laps around the ceiling. It’s divine. I also highly recommend trying a strawberry banana slush, and the chocolate snow is very good as well. Oh, and don’t forget the regular old milk tea, that’s awesome too. Come to think of it, just try everything.

I don’t understand how the lids work. It’s witchcraft.

Prices are just shy of five bucks a drink, which is pretty standard for this sort of thing. The high quality of the beverages more than makes up for the sting in your wallet, and you can also get a buy-ten-get-one-free card going while you’re there.

I rate Oh Boba! a stellar 262 Strange and Delicious Chewy Things In My Drink out of a possible 298, making it very much worth anybody’s while to give this place a try.

Oh Boba!
1000 Lafayette Street
Unit F
Santa Clara, CA 95050
(408) 248-1289
www.ohboba.com

It’s fruitier than eating Carmen Miranda’s hat.

Sizzling Stone

Posted on 08/22/2013 by Randomly Edible

This week I visited one of my regular South Bay lunch spots: Sizzling Stone in Milpitas. The name pretty much describes exactly what this place is about – hot rocks with stuff cooking on them. More specifically, your lunch is served in a heavy duty stone bowl that’s roughly the same temperature as the surface of the sun.

If you asked me to describe Sizzling Stone in five words or less, I would reply with “Chipotle meets Chili’s in Seoul.” As you walk up to the main glass-fronted counter, you are presented with a bewildering array of menu options on a large board on the back wall. Ignore it. Instead, simply tell the friendly waitstaff you want a bowl and begin pointing vaguely at the ingredients you want in it. There are noodles, three kinds of rice, a ton of veggies, a few meat options, and about a billion other toppings to choose from. When you’re done assembling your masterpiece, they take the bowl and throw it directly on a burner as-is. While you wait for your lunch to heat up, grab some sauces, a bit of extra kimchee, and find a table.

When they say “hot lunch” they aren’t kidding.

“It’s like the Running of the Bulls, only you’re fleeing from dilapidated 1990′s minivans”

Your bowl will arrive at your table a few minutes later at several thousand degrees Kelvin. Add your sauce, stir it up, and enjoy (carefully). The very best part about this place is how customizable the food is. You can go totally healthy or totally bad-for-you. You can go spicy, garlicky, saucy, or none of the above. Even the pickiest eaters are guaranteed to find something here that they will like, and adventuresome types will have a good time as well. Prices are about $11 per person including a drink, which is on the medium-to-high end of the lunchtime value scale. Mostly you’re paying for the presentation.

This next point isn’t really the fault of Sizzling Stone itself, but I’m obligated to report that navigating the Milpitas Square shopping area to get to this restaurant is freaking terrifying. It’s like the Running of the Bulls, only you’re fleeing from dilapidated 1990’s minivans festooned with Hello Kitty plush toys. The parking lot – which appears to have been designed by M. C. Escher on mescaline – is specifically constructed to lure you down dead end aisles so that you can get trapped by someone learning how to park their car for the very first time. Your best bet when this occurs is simply to leave your vehicle wherever it happens to be at the moment, just like everyone else has. When you are done with your meal, odds are you will find yourself blocked in by a half primered Del Sol with a compact disc hanging from the rear view mirror. If you escape this pit of automotive hell with fewer than three or four dozen door dings, consider yourself lucky.

In spite of the parking lot issue, I rate Sizzling Stone a respectable 87 Third Degree Forearm Burns out of a possible 115. This place is certainly worth checking out if you’re in the area, but I’d recommend getting a rental car first.

Sizzling Stone
510 Barber Lane
Milpitas, CA 95035
(408) 324-1107
www.mysizzlingstone.com

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I give Sizzling Stone high marks for its clean, modern interior.

Neat, clean, and noodly. This is my kind of place.

Randomly Edible

Mostly a food blog. Sort of.

Category Archives: Northern California

Xanh

The Melt

India Gourmet

Oh Boba!

Sizzling Stone

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