Backdoor Chili

Posted on 09/22/2013 by Randomly Edible

Everybody thinks they have a good chili recipe. Some actually do, but they are in the minority. Now don’t get all offended at me, I’m not talking about your chili in particular. It might be great and all but really, do you feel confident enough about your recipe to enter a contest with it? Yeah, me either. David Valega, on the other hand, won the freaking world championship in 1990 with his “Backdoor Chili” recipe. Give it a whirl and you’ll find out exactly why.

Skip to the short version

” I [your name] swear not to add veggies or anything else healthy to this chili “

One of the many things I like about this recipe is that it requires no chopping or cutting of any kind. All of the ingredients are either meat, liquids, or powders. Easy peasy! It’s also not especially spicy (although it can be made to be) and it comes together in three or four hours tops. This is one of my go-to guaranteed slam dunk crowd pleaser recipes; I’ve made this for a number of different parties and have always received rave reviews. If only I had come up with this one myself… *sigh* No matter. I will paraphrase David’s superb recipe in this blog entry, but if you’re interested in the original, here it is.

My army of ingredients has been assembled, ready to do battle against vegetable-laden counterfeit chili knockoffs.

If you’ve never had “true” (aka Texas style) chili before, this recipe may throw you off a little. There is absolutely no fluff whatsoever, and that’s how it’s meant to be. There are no beans, corn, wacky garnishes, or anything else – it’s just meat and flavor, period. If you like beans (I sure as heck do), make them separately and serve them on the side. For the love of all that is pure and good in this world, please do not add veggies. I beg you. NO VEGGIES. Repeat after me: “I [your name] swear not to add veggies or anything else healthy to this chili.” Good. I have experienced more bowls of chili that have been ruined by green things than I care to recall. I’m looking at you, California.

Ingredients

Part 1

3 lbs beef chuck tender (You can also sub ground beef or turkey)
olive oil
two 14.5oz cans beef broth
one 8oz can tomato sauce
4 dashes Tabasco pepper sauce
1 1/2 tbls onion powder
3/4 tsp red (cayenne) pepper
2 tsp low sodium beef bouillon granules
1 tsp low sodium chicken bouillon granules

Part 2

3/4 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tbls cumin
3/4 tsp white pepper
6 tbls chili powder (preferably Gebhardt’s)
salt to taste

Directions

Brown the meat in the bottom of a large pot using a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Add the tomato sauce, beef broth, and Tabasco sauce and stir well. Add the rest of the ingredients from part 1: Onion powder, red pepper, beef bouillon, and chicken bouillon. Stir until well mixed and bring to a boil. Reduce heat until the mixture is at a medium boil (or a strong simmer, if you prefer to think of it that way) and cook uncovered for 45 minutes, adding water as necessary. When is “necessary”? Well, if there are dry bits of meat protruding well above the surface of the liquid, you need to add water. If there aren’t, you don’t. If you need to stretch out your cooking time a bit (say, if your dinner guests are running late), it won’t hurt a thing to simmer the mixture in this state for an hour or even two.

This is what “enough liquid” looks like. Pretty scientific, right?

When you are within half an hour of dinnertime, add all of the ingredients from part 2: Garlic powder, cumin, white pepper, and chili powder. Stir well, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes. At the end of the 30 minutes, salt to taste and remove from heat. Serve with grated cheddar cheese (I like Tillamook sharp), chopped white onion, and pinto beans. It’s also great over pasta, on hot dogs, with Fritos… Heck, I’ve even thought about brushing my teeth with this stuff. Just remember, put the veggies in a salad bowl and let the awesome simplicity of this chili speak for itself. Welcome to the big leagues.

Look at that bowl of perfection. David Valega’s chili can beat up your chili.

tl;dr

Backdoor chili

Ingredients

Part 1

3 lbs beef chuck tender (You can also sub ground beef or turkey)
olive oil
two 14.5oz cans beef broth
one 8oz can tomato sauce
4 dashes Tabasco pepper sauce
1 1/2 tbls onion powder
3/4 tsp red (cayenne) pepper
2 tsp low sodium beef bouillon granules
1 tsp low sodium chicken bouillon granules

Part 2

3/4 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tbls cumin
3/4 tsp white pepper
6 tbls chili powder (preferably Gebhardt’s)

Directions

Brown meat in a large pot with 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Add tomato sauce, beef broth, and Tabasco sauce and stir well. Add onion powder, red pepper, beef bouillon, and chicken bouillon, stir and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and medium boil uncovered for 45 minutes. Add garlic powder, cumin, white pepper, and chili powder. Stir, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes. Salt to taste, remove from heat, and serve with grated cheddar cheese.

Merriman’s

Posted on 09/16/2013 by Randomly Edible

One of the many restaurants on our list of places to visit this trip was Merriman’s Kapalua, a fancy-ish establishment with – you guessed it – a killer view. We’d heard this place can get busy, so we called ahead and attempted to get reservations. Unfortunately, sunset dining times turned out to be very difficult to come by.

The best available dinner reservation time was just after sunset several days later, so my wife and I decided to go there for appetizers instead. Or, as we prefer to say: Pupus (Pronounced “poo poos”). It’s way more fun. Try it. Pupus. (giggle) We dropped our car off at the valet in front of Merriman’s – the only parking option – and walked out to the open seating available on the generously sized patio.

A sunset at Merriman’s, as seen through a glass of Fire Rock pale ale. Beyootiful.

” Now I remember why I’ve never liked people with more ab muscles than IQ points “

The patio is located where the old Bay Club swimming pool used to be. Well, actually, it’s still there. The pool has been completely filled with dirt and is mostly covered with a large wooden deck. The uncovered part of the pool sports a lawn and several palm trees. Very strange indeed, but also not really noticeable.

Because this blog is not called “Uninteresting Pool Trivia“, I will now return to talking about food. My better half and I browsed the pupu menu (stifled laugh) and picked out a handful of different items that approximately equated to dinner for two. The service at Merriman’s is a little bit on the slow side, but then again so is Hawaii in general. Besides, we were there to watch the sunset, so it’s not like we were planning on leaving anytime soon anyway.

Pretty darned good sliders. THERE’s the beef.

Eventually a tanned and gleeful young lad bounded out of the kitchen area to deliver our four plates of appetizers. “Well gosh!” he said. “With an order this size I’d have thought there were six people here!” Yes, thank you. We get it, we’re little oinkers. Please keep your astute observations to yourself and go iron your collection of khaki shorts. Now I remember why I’ve never liked people with more ab muscles than IQ points.

Thankfully, our pupus (tee hee) turned out to be quite tasty. The smoked bacon and bleu cheese sliders were quite beefy and delicious, and the pork quesadilla was superb – the chili mango “wattah” dipping sauce was to die for. The fish and “chips” (actually breaded and fried eggplant) was also very good; both the breading and the tartar sauce had very nicely amped up flavors. To be somewhat healthy, we also got a goat cheese salad. So there, filter-less meal delivery drone. Nyah.

Warm goat cheese with a crispy crust on froofy salad thing. It was awesome.

We finished off our “dinner” with some wonderful white chocolate filled malasadas (basically donut holes), complete with local coffee caramel dipping sauce. The molten white chocolate was perilously hot, but we managed to escape with only mildly disfiguring burns. We watched the sun set as we enjoyed our pupus (yes, it’s still funny) – overall it was a very pleasant evening indeed. It took quite a bit longer to get our bill than I would have preferred, but it wasn’t a huge deal … until I saw the total. We cleared $100 easy, even with only one drink each. It must have taken them the whole 30 extra minutes we waited just to total everything up. Well, what’s one to expect? With front row seats for the sunset like we had and more than passable noms, it was still a fair deal.

In the end, I rate this restaurant a decent 9 out of 12 blond-coiffed busboys. The value-for-food formula is questionable, but it does make for a nice night out. If you’re in the mood for a delicious pupu (snort) and your wallet can stand up to a modest beating, stop by Merriman’s Kapalua for a bite.

Merriman’s
Multiple locations throughout Hawaii
www.merrimanshawaii.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

The Kahlua pork quesadilla was slam-dunk piggy deliciousness.

The Gazebo

Posted on 09/16/2013 by Randomly Edible

I’ve been to The Gazebo before, so I was excited to have an opportunity to write it up. Well, actually, I was way more excited to eat there – this whole blog thing is more like a side effect.

This restaurant is tucked away back behind the business end of a motel-y looking resort in Napili. To find it, you’ll need to poke around the back roads in the area a bit, keeping your eyes peeled for a teeny little wooden sign sporting the magical words “The Gazebo”. Find a parking spot as quickly as you can or, if there aren’t any (which is likely), just plow your rental car into the middle of a hibiscus bush and climb out of a back window. Start walking through the motel … sorry, “resort” grounds and head vaguely towards the ocean. When you see a line of people waiting near a swimming pool, you have discovered breakfast nirvana.

It is literally a gazebo. No bonus points for having a creative restaurant name.

The wait for a table is rarely less than 15 minutes, and it’s often quite a bit more – that’s the bad news. The good news is that it will be the most pleasant wait you’ve ever experienced. You’re in Hawaii for crying out loud, who cares how long the wait is? Just remember not to wander aimlessly out of line while you gape at the postcard-perfect scenery and bask in the toasty sun.

” Before we could say ‘sugar shock’ our food had arrived “

Once seated, you will find yourself reviewing a lengthy and reasonably-priced menu filled to the brim with just about everything you can imagine and quite a few things you can’t. If this is your first visit to The Gazebo, skip straight to the “Our Specialties” section and try not to giggle with sheer schoolgirlish delight. The white chocolate macadamia nut pancakes are as drool-worthy as they sound. I also highly recommend the banana macadamia nut version, and pineapple is available as well. In a final stroke of tropical genius, you’re provided with coconut syrup to top it all off. Yeah, wow is right.

The only thing that could possibly be any better than that is a little gem I discovered on the specials board: Peanut butter banana french toast. Hot dang do I love peanut butter! I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned that before, but no matter. I ordered up the french toast; my wife opted for a banana mac nut short stack and a side of bacon for us to share. Baaaaacccoooooooonnnnnnnnn.

The peanut butter banana french toast special. I am still having dreams about this.

Before we could say “sugar shock” our food had arrived, just as fresh and amazing as I remembered from a few years ago. The waitstaff at The Gazebo are great folks; they’re fast, personable, they get their orders correct, and they keep your iced tea filled. I tried to think of something mean to say about them but I came up with nothing, curse the wily charlatans.

The Gazebo earns an easy 28 out of 30 fluffy golden tropical pancakes; really its only downside is that you have to travel all the way to Maui to visit it. Wait, maybe that’s an upside. Doesn’t matter. Just go there!

The Gazebo
5315 Lower Honoapiilani Road
Lahaina, HI 96761
(808) 669-5621
www.mauihawaii.org

Follow @RandomlyEdible

UPDATE
This restaurant is so nice I reviewed it twice: Random Revisit: The Gazebo

Banana macadamia nut pancakes with juuuuuuuust a dab of whipped cream.

The Beach House Restaurant

Posted on 09/15/2013 by Randomly Edible

The Beach House is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand it’s not especially inspiring or unique, but on the other hand it is exactly what you fly all the way the heck out to the middle of the Pacific to experience. I was fully prepared to be unimpressed by The Beach House, but in the end it won me over.

For starters, “The Beach House” is just about the most generic name I can imagine, especially in Hawaii. It’s the John Smith of restaurant names. Just try looking it up and you’ll see what I mean. It’s also located on the grounds of the Ritz-Carlton, which causes one to imagine that they serve hotel food, and the menu doesn’t do much to dispel that fear. So far not so good. There are a few kinds of salads, some appetizers, and a couple entrees to choose from, one of which is a hamburger. Oh dear.

” Sorry kids, but today we found Nemo … on our table “

The Beach House also isn’t especially easy to find. One is required to navigate a brain-wrenching tangle of golf cart paths and twisty one-way utility roads through a miniature city of condominiums to get there. If it weren’t for my wife’s ability to navigate, I’d still be driving loops around the island looking for this place. Once you do find the restaurant, you’ll need to park in a beach access parking lot and hoof it a good 100 yards down a paved path to get there. As is my way when faced with a series of annoying challenges in order to fill my empty stomach, I was Mr. Cranky Pants as we finally arrived at the The Beach House.

And then I saw the view.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. That there is alright.

As it turns out, The Beach House is quite aptly named. It’s on. The freaking. Beach. Ok, so the menu is still disappointingly short but come on. That’s a million dollar view. It’s so good in fact that I was able to ignore the painfully touristy music being played, namely Limbo Rock and Blue Hawaii. Props to Mr. Checker and the King, but just… cringe. Anyway, enough about the music and the view and everything else. I finally tore my gaze away from the gorgeous scenery and tried to remember that I was here to feed more than my eyes.

I read through the entire menu, a process that took about 18 seconds, and settled on the probably-average hamburger. Our helpful waitress dropped off our drinks and began listing off the specials. It turned out there were more specials than there were regular menu items, a nice surprise that really helped to address the issue of limited entree choices. At one point the words “grilled ahi sandwich with garlic aioli” were uttered and both my wife and I perked up our ears at exactly the same time. We must have looked like a couple of dogs who were just asked “cookie??” by someone holding a box of Milk Bones, because the waitress immediately got out her pen and started writing things down. Yes, we’ll have those. The sandwiches. Two of those. Bring them now.

I don’t need fancy, I just need tasty. And this is it.

Our sammies arrived (one with fruit, one with fries) and boy did they hit the spot. Stuff like this is exactly my very favorite kind of food: Something simple done oh-so-right. The onion rolls were as fresh as can be, the aioli was bang-on perfect, and the fish… Well, there’s nothing quite like fresh caught fish that was frolicking in the waves just hours before. Sorry kids, but today we found Nemo … on our table. Not all stories end like Disney movies do, but at least they make tasty lunches. At $22 a plate plus drinks, however, The Beach House ain’t cheap. We calculated the prices at $10 for each meal and $12 a person for the view. Still totally worth it.

I rate this place a well-earned 8 out of 10 touristy ukulele songs, earning it an unexpectedly decent spot on my list of favorites. If you’re looking for a meal with a view, The Beach House will be very hard to beat. Just remember to ask for the specials.

The Beach House Restaurant
The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua
One Ritz-Carlton Drive
Kapalua, HI 96761
(808) 669-6200
www.ritzcarlton.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Waterfront dining at its finest. Well maybe not dining, and maybe not finest. But definitely waterfront.

Da Kitchen Cafe

Posted on 09/13/2013 by Randomly Edible

Jet lag is a curious thing. Your brain tells you one thing, the clock tells you another.. and neither tend to be correct. That’s why, when I travel, I rely on my stomach to tell me what time of day it is. Just three or four steps off of the plane in Maui, and it was clear I had missed a meal of some kind. I had no idea what time it was, but in Hawaii it doesn’t matter anyway. They should make it a rule that everyone is required to flush their watches down the toilet before stepping foot on Hawaiian soil.

Ok, where to eat, where to eat… As you would expect, the airport is jam packed with tourism brochures doing their very best to pry the money from the wallets of unsuspecting mainlanders. I have no desire whatsoever to visit “Big Mike’s Tourist Tilapia and Surf Lessons” or “Aloha Mahalo Hawaiian Hula Hamburger Hut”. No thank you. When you want local food you should ask a local (duh), and after receiving some advice from a rental car employee we happened upon Da Kitchen a couple miles down the road.

Local Hawaiian awesomeness lurks just inside these doors.

The interior of Da Kitchen is somewhat industrial and the ceilings are – no kidding – at least 25 feet high. Indeed the whole mini-mall complex appears to be a repurposed blimp hangar, but facts such as these matter little when one’s stomach is loudly demanding food. Da Kitchen’s menu is filled to the brim with local Hawaiian favorites, and the specials board alone was over twenty options deep. Quite a few offerings caught my eye, namely the macadamia crusted ahi sandwich with pesto, but in the end I settled on a classic hamburger steak plate lunch. My wife interviewed our waitress to discover what her favorite thing on the menu was, which turned out to be fish and chips.

Speaking of the wait staff (who are quite friendly by the way), all the people who work at Da Kitchen are about 90 pounds soaking wet combined, so I’m pretty sure they don’t actually eat there. If they do, they must have exercise routines that involve burning 4,000+ calories a day. I’ve never been served by a team of olympic triathletes before.

Mmmm, carb heaven.

Our food arrived and it was magnificent. My hamburger steak was cooked perfectly, heaped with grilled onions and mushrooms, and swimming in lovely brown gravy. The “vegetable” on my plate, the potato mac salad, was excellent as well. The fish and chips across the table from me looked superb, and I knew immediately that I needed to get in on the action. I used the tried-and-true “Hey look a volcano!” trick and swiped one of the crispy golden fillets while my wife scrambled to find her camera. The batter was perfect, the mahi was so fresh it was still swimming and, critically, it wasn’t oily or greasy at all. Deeeeelish.

Overall I rate Da Kitchen 4 out of 5 sunburned tourists, making it totally worth looking up if you find yourself on Maui.

Da Kitchen Cafe
425 Koloa Street
Suite 104
Kahului, HI 96732
(808) 871-7782
www.da-kitchen.com

Yes, it really is as good as it looks.

Randomly Edible

Mostly a food blog. Sort of.

Monthly Archives: September 2013

Backdoor Chili

Merriman’s

The Gazebo

The Beach House Restaurant

Da Kitchen Cafe

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: