Butter & Zeus

meter-good-greatNo really, that’s what it’s called. Butter & Zeus. As abstract and meaningless as that name might be, there’s something deliciously alluring about it. It makes you perk your ears up and say, “Eh? Butter and what?” It’s the kind of thing that sticks in your head, and the sheer absurdity means you won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. Just my kind of subtle genius.

” The barbacoa has a respectable oomph to it without completely destroying your nasal cavity “

The story begins where it so often does, with my wife Shawn and I discussing meal plans. She had been forced at gunpoint to head into the office for a day of work on Black Friday. I stayed at home, puttering around the house and doing my best to make the place look as though I had cleaned it. “Where do you want to meet for lunch?” she asked me over the phone. “What’s around here that we haven’t been to before?”

I didn’t know. I replied with a combination mumble-shrug-hrrmph that was intended to convey, “I’m not sure, darling, let me look up some restaurants on Google.”

“Oh, here’s one” she said, beating me to the punch. “Your head’s going to explode. It’s a waffle sandw..” I hung up on her and sprinted to the car. Waffles THAT ARE ALSO SANDWICHES?? My brain spun with the idea of this new devilry. As I drove, my phone buzzed with a text message: “Thought so. It’s called Butter & Zeus, on Tasman.”

Before you ask, no, I didn’t read the text while I was driving. I’m stupid in other ways besides that.

Gotta love a place with “butter” in the name.

As we walked up to the front of the restaurant, I was hit with major déjà vu. I’d been here before… and yet I hadn’t. Ah, now I remember. This used to be the location of Castle Greek Cafe, a place I’d been to a couple times and was never all that impressed with. The decor was different now, of course, with the most notable change being a huge, hand-written menu board just inside the door.

My comfort food senses are tingling.

My comfort food senses are tingling.

Just look at all of those beautiful, unhealthy choices. After eating here, I’d really have to think extra hard about getting on the exercise bike before not doing it. The aroma of toasting waffles played through the air, causing my salivary glands to do whatever they damn well pleased. It was actually difficult to focus on choosing something from the menu with this going on, but we managed it. We eventually decided to split some barbacoa pork fries and a cheeseburger waffle. We paid the very reasonable bill at the cash register, filled our soda cups, and took a seat.

Of course they're waffle fries. What else would they be?

Of course they’re waffle fries. What else would they be?

Within just a few minutes, our pork fries arrived at the table. Jiminy Christmas, what a masterpiece. I don’t know who first came up with the idea of this sort of thing, but Butter & Zeus executed the concept flawlessly. The cola pulled pork (yes, cola) was absolutely to die for; nice lean strands of hand pulled pork were piled generously on top of impossibly fresh, golden fries. The barbacoa sauce coating the pork was quite spicy, but the cilantro lime dressing and sour cream helped to cut the burn a little bit. If you don’t like spicy stuff, stay as far away from this dish as you possibly can. If you’re in the mood to bring the heat, however, the barbacoa has a respectable oomph to it without completely destroying your nasal cavity.

The fries towards the bottom of the basket were pretty mushy, but the good news is that it’s because they were soaked with delicious saucy goodness. We just grabbed our plastic forks and soldiered on. Such is the way with dishes like these; if you don’t want your food to get soggy, eat faster. Just as we were savoring the last bits of our pork fries, the cheeseburger waffle arrived.

Waffles and burgers co-mingling? Scandalous.

Waffles and burgers co-mingling? Scandalous.

And there it was, a cheeseburger made with a waffle. It looked exactly as I had expected: An all-American lunch perched atop an all-American breakfast. At first, I was only intrigued by the novelty of it all. I almost didn’t care what it tasted like, but as I bit into my wafflewich (I’m totally trademarking that term), I was amazed at how well everything went together. Honestly, the patty and the cheese were nothing special – you could even call them average. Put them between a couple layers of hot, crispy waffle, however, and you’ve created magic. Contrary to what your brain might try to tell you, the waffle wasn’t sweet. Yes, maple syrup is an optional topping at Butter & Zeus, but the waffle itself is just another kind of bread. A very tasty, very wonderful kind of bread. The little pockets are masterful at holding all the toppings and condiments, while the waffle itself does a good job of keeping everything together without being too filling on its own. Quite simply, waffle sandwiches are brilliant.

As we finished up our lunch, I took note of what the other patrons around us were eating. One table in particular was covered with nothing but orders of classic (and first on the menu) chicken and waffles, and it all looked very good indeed. There is no question that I will be eating here again, and soon. As we stood up to leave, the cashier asked us how the food was and if we enjoyed our lunch. It was a genuine question, not just a passing “How was everything?” that usually means “I hate my job, so please get out.” I chatted with the cashier for a while, giving my feedback and promising to come back, and he was happy to hear it. The folks at Butter & Zeus seem truly interested in how they are doing, and the dedication shows in their food.

Shawn and I had a great experience here, enough to land this place on our short list of restaurants to come back to regularly. Although I wouldn’t call this a high-class, fancy, or even hugely remarkable eatery, I will certainly sing its praises for solid execution, good prices, and a great concept. I rate Butter & Zeus 3.5 out of 4 waffle wedges, which should be more than enough to ensure that it shows up on your lunch radar. If you’re tired of trying to uphold a higher sense of culinary sophistication and just want simple, good food, this is the place for you.

Butter & Zeus
2213 Tasman Drive
Santa Clara, CA 95054
(408) 727-1800
Facebook: Butter & Zeus Waffle Sandwiches
Butter & Zeus on Urbanspoon

I'm going to order the heck out of some chicken and waffles next time.

I’m going to order the heck out of some chicken and waffles next time.


Random Revisit: Xanh

meter-good+Hot on the heels of a scheduling error, I found myself at HNVX just a week after my first visit. Exactly nothing at all had changed, just as I suspected it wouldn’t. The decor was still just as rave-y, the waitstaff was still as quick and polite as before, and the menu was just as extensive. Clearly I would need to look harder if I hoped to find something new to complain about.

” It’s like trying to eat spaghetti with a rubber mallet and a football “

My wife and I met our previously-scheduled friend just inside HNVX and followed the host person to a cozy table. By “cozy” of course I mean “nestled between a pillar of glowing purple glass bricks and a wall textured like an avocado”. Naturally. After scanning the menu, we formulated our attack plan for dinner and relayed the order to our waitperson. We selected papaya salad (I was outvoted), pineapple beef short ribs, and a bowl of “Pho You, Pho Me”, HNVX’s questionably-named interpretation of classic Vietnamese noodle soup. Because we liked them so much last time, we also ordered some crispy potstickers and Kobe rolls.

I can't tell where the papaya ends and the salad begins.

I can’t tell where the papaya ends and the salad begins.

The papaya salad arrived first, and I reluctantly but politely scooped some onto my plate. I took a tentative bite… and wow! What a great dish. I quickly cleaned my plate and took another helping. Delish! It was crispy, light, and had a mild sweet flavor that was superb and palette-cleansing. And here I thought I didn’t like papaya. I’d certainly order that again.

Somebody at HNVX isn't quite sure what spoons do.

Somebody at HNVX isn’t quite sure what spoons do.

Next up were the short ribs, and they smelled great. Curiously, a spoon was provided. A spoon? I can think of a dozen different ways to eat ribs, and exactly zero of them involve the use of a spoon. Come to think of it, that was the same story with the colossal prawns on our last visit – they came with an utterly useless spoon. Seriously, why? It’s like trying to eat spaghetti with a rubber mallet and a football.

Ignoring the pointless utensil (accidental pun!), the short ribs were excellent. They were marinated and grilled to perfection, and the quality of the beef met even my absurdly picky standards. They didn’t last very long though, but we also had potstickers and Kobe rolls to keep us busy. Regardless, thumbs up on the ribs.

It was pho-nomenal.

It was pho-nomenal.

Finally, and with much anticipation, the pho arrived in a huge bowl. We ladled it out into smaller bowls (note puddles of sloshed soup in above photo) and got to work. It was magnificent. There are probably better examples of the breed lurking somewhere in the dark corners of the Bay Area, but for my money I’m quite happy indeed with HNVX’s rendition. The beef was tender and flavorful, the broth was rich, and there were plenty of noodles to go around. The next time we come here I will definitely be getting this, and I won’t be sharing.

I’m happy to report that my second visit to HNVX was better than the first one, and the first one certainly wasn’t bad at all. With a wider sampling of the menu literally under my belt, I’ve upped the Om-nom-eter™ a tick from its previous reading.

Xanh
110 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
(650) 964-1888
www.xanhrestaurant.com


Merriman’s

meter-good+One of the many restaurants on our list of places to visit this trip was Merriman’s Kapalua, a fancy-ish establishment with – you guessed it – a killer view. We’d heard this place can get busy, so we called ahead and attempted to get reservations. Unfortunately, sunset dining times turned out to be very difficult to come by.

The best available dinner reservation time was just after sunset several days later, so my wife and I decided to go there for appetizers instead. Or, as we prefer to say: Pupus (Pronounced “poo poos”). It’s way more fun. Try it. Pupus. (giggle) We dropped our car off at the valet in front of Merriman’s – the only parking option – and walked out to the open seating available on the generously sized patio.

A sunset at Merriman's, as seen through a glass of Fire Rock pale ale. Beyootiful.

A sunset at Merriman’s, as seen through a glass of Fire Rock pale ale. Beyootiful.

” Now I remember why I’ve never liked people with more ab muscles than IQ points “

The patio is located where the old Bay Club swimming pool used to be. Well, actually, it’s still there. The pool has been completely filled with dirt and is mostly covered with a large wooden deck. The uncovered part of the pool sports a lawn and several palm trees. Very strange indeed, but also not really noticeable.

Because this blog is not called “Uninteresting Pool Trivia“, I will now return to talking about food. My better half and I browsed the pupu menu (stifled laugh) and picked out a handful of different items that approximately equated to dinner for two. The service at Merriman’s is a little bit on the slow side, but then again so is Hawaii in general. Besides, we were there to watch the sunset, so it’s not like we were planning on leaving anytime soon anyway.

Pretty darned good sliders. THERE's the beef.

Pretty darned good sliders. THERE’s the beef.

Eventually a tanned and gleeful young lad bounded out of the kitchen area to deliver our four plates of appetizers. “Well gosh!” he said. “With an order this size I’d have thought there were six people here!” Yes, thank you. We get it, we’re little oinkers. Please keep your astute observations to yourself and go iron your collection of khaki shorts. Now I remember why I’ve never liked people with more ab muscles than IQ points.

Thankfully, our pupus (tee hee) turned out to be quite tasty. The smoked bacon and bleu cheese sliders were quite beefy and delicious, and the pork quesadilla was superb – the chili mango “wattah” dipping sauce was to die for. The fish and “chips” (actually breaded and fried eggplant) was also very good; both the breading and the tartar sauce had very nicely amped up flavors. To be somewhat healthy, we also got a goat cheese salad. So there, filter-less meal delivery drone. Nyah.

Warm goat cheese with a crispy crust on froofy salad thing. It was awesome.

Warm goat cheese with a crispy crust on froofy salad thing. It was awesome.

We finished off our “dinner” with some wonderful white chocolate filled malasadas (basically donut holes), complete with local coffee caramel dipping sauce. The molten white chocolate was perilously hot, but we managed to escape with only mildly disfiguring burns. We watched the sun set as we enjoyed our pupus (yes, it’s still funny) – overall it was a very pleasant evening indeed. It took quite a bit longer to get our bill than I would have preferred, but it wasn’t a huge deal … until I saw the total. We cleared $100 easy, even with only one drink each. It must have taken them the whole 30 extra minutes we waited just to total everything up. Well, what’s one to expect? With front row seats for the sunset like we had and more than passable noms, it was still a fair deal.

In the end, I rate this restaurant a decent 9 out of 12 blond-coiffed busboys. The value-for-food formula is questionable, but it does make for a nice night out. If you’re in the mood for a delicious pupu (snort) and your wallet can stand up to a modest beating, stop by Merriman’s Kapalua for a bite.

Merriman’s
Multiple locations throughout Hawaii
www.merrimanshawaii.com

Merriman's on Urbanspoon

The Kahlua pork quesadilla was slam-dunk piggy deliciousness.

The Kahlua pork quesadilla was slam-dunk piggy deliciousness.



The Beach House Restaurant

meter-good-greatThe Beach House is a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand it’s not especially inspiring or unique, but on the other hand it is exactly what you fly all the way the heck out to the middle of the Pacific to experience. I was fully prepared to be unimpressed by The Beach House, but in the end it won me over.

For starters, “The Beach House” is just about the most generic name I can imagine, especially in Hawaii. It’s the John Smith of restaurant names. Just try looking it up and you’ll see what I mean. It’s also located on the grounds of the Ritz-Carlton, which causes one to imagine that they serve hotel food, and the menu doesn’t do much to dispel that fear. So far not so good. There are a few kinds of salads, some appetizers, and a couple entrees to choose from, one of which is a hamburger. Oh dear.

” Sorry kids, but today we found Nemo … on our table “

The Beach House also isn’t especially easy to find. One is required to navigate a brain-wrenching tangle of golf cart paths and twisty one-way utility roads through a miniature city of condominiums to get there. If it weren’t for my wife’s ability to navigate, I’d still be driving loops around the island looking for this place. Once you do find the restaurant, you’ll need to park in a beach access parking lot and hoof it a good 100 yards down a paved path to get there. As is my way when faced with a series of annoying challenges in order to fill my empty stomach, I was Mr. Cranky Pants as we finally arrived at the The Beach House.

And then I saw the view.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. That there is alright.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. That there is alright.

As it turns out, The Beach House is quite aptly named. It’s on. The freaking. Beach. Ok, so the menu is still disappointingly short but come on. That’s a million dollar view. It’s so good in fact that I was able to ignore the painfully touristy music being played, namely Limbo Rock and Blue Hawaii. Props to Mr. Checker and the King, but just… cringe. Anyway, enough about the music and the view and everything else. I finally tore my gaze away from the gorgeous scenery and tried to remember that I was here to feed more than my eyes.

I read through the entire menu, a process that took about 18 seconds, and settled on the probably-average hamburger. Our helpful waitress dropped off our drinks and began listing off the specials. It turned out there were more specials than there were regular menu items, a nice surprise that really helped to address the issue of limited entree choices. At one point the words “grilled ahi sandwich with garlic aioli” were uttered and both my wife and I perked up our ears at exactly the same time. We must have looked like a couple of dogs who were just asked “cookie??” by someone holding a box of Milk Bones, because the waitress immediately got out her pen and started writing things down. Yes, we’ll have those. The sandwiches. Two of those. Bring them now.

I don't need fancy, I just need tasty. And this is it.

I don’t need fancy, I just need tasty. And this is it.

Our sammies arrived (one with fruit, one with fries) and boy did they hit the spot. Stuff like this is exactly my very favorite kind of food: Something simple done oh-so-right. The onion rolls were as fresh as can be, the aioli was bang-on perfect, and the fish… Well, there’s nothing quite like fresh caught fish that was frolicking in the waves just hours before. Sorry kids, but today we found Nemo … on our table. Not all stories end like Disney movies do, but at least they make tasty lunches. At $22 a plate plus drinks, however, The Beach House ain’t cheap. We calculated the prices at $10 for each meal and $12 a person for the view. Still totally worth it.

I rate this place a well-earned 8 out of 10 touristy ukulele songs, earning it an unexpectedly decent spot on my list of favorites. If you’re looking for a meal with a view, The Beach House will be very hard to beat. Just remember to ask for the specials.

The Beach House Restaurant
The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua
One Ritz-Carlton Drive
Kapalua, HI 96761
(808) 669-6200
www.ritzcarlton.com

Beach House on Urbanspoon

Waterfront dining at its finest. Well maybe not dining, and maybe not finest. But definitely waterfront.

Waterfront dining at its finest. Well maybe not dining, and maybe not finest. But definitely waterfront.