Random Revisit: Old Port Lobster Shack

Posted on 06/30/2015 by Randomly Edible

Wait, wait, wait. How could I possibly “revisit” a place I’ve never been to before? Well, if you’ll recall, some time back I reviewed Portola Valley Lobster Shack. The parent (or sister, brother, uncle, etc.) company of that restaurant is actually Old Port, and so really what I’m doing here is visiting a second Old Port location.

So long Sbarro, hello Old Port.

“Truly tasty grub, now available in a crowded mall near you “

This particular location just so happens to be smack in the middle of Valley Fair mall, an absurdly complicated place to shop with the worst traffic flow in the northern hemisphere. I found myself wandering this retail purgatory the other weekend, led by my happily shopping spouse, trying to decide which clothing shop had the most comfortable “dude chairs”. (It’s Johnny Was, by the way.)

As a reward for my mall meanderings, I was corralled into Valley Fair’s newly renovated food court for a bit of lunch. Gone are the days of crappy fast food burgers, cardboard pizza, and stir fried alley cat. The new food court is filled to the brim with excellent upper-middle-range food options which, in mall terms, is like hitting the lottery. And hey! Over there, in the corner – it’s Old Port Lobster Shack. Lunch is served.

I don’t understand why restaurants do this. Bread does not need to be shiny.

We ordered some brisket mac & cheese and a fried popcorn shrimp roll, found a table, and waited. After only ten minutes of watching a toddler gleefully dismember an Avenger action figure, our food was ready. I picked up the brisket mac and the pulled pork sandwich and walked back to…. Waaait a damn minute. Pulled pork? Let me see that receipt again… Crap. It says pulled pork. I guess I mumbled when I ordered.

Well, no matter, everything they make is good. We didn’t feel like sitting around for another ten foodless minutes, so we just went ahead and ate. The pulled pork sandwich was, as expected, top notch. And, unlike all other mall food I have experienced in my life, it was freshly made and absolutely piping hot. The bun was disturbingly oily, or perhaps it was clarified butter, but that’s just me being picky. It was all very tasty in any case, oil and all, and I had no true complaints.

Mac & cheese & brisket. What more could you ask for?

The mac & cheese was unfortunately a little more pedestrian than what I had previously experienced in Portola Valley. I don’t mean to imply that I didn’t enjoy it, because I most certainly did, but it didn’t have the crispy baked edges and toasty cheese topping like mac that is truly baked. To be fair, I can’t really expect that out of a kitchen running in “mall prep” mode. The quality that Old Port manages to crank out in this setting is excellent, so they get a pass on this one.

In spite of a couple very minor setbacks, my previous rating of 35,098,552,670,980 flavor molecules for Old Port Lobster Shack stands. It’s a squarely above average eatery with truly tasty grub, now available in a crowded mall near you. Definitely pay this place a visit when you have a chance (along with the rest of Valley Fair’s new food court), but for the sake of your own sanity don’t go during peak hours.

Pros
+ It’s in Valley Fair
+ There’s something for everyone here
+ Best “mall” food you’ll ever have

Cons
– It’s in Valley Fair

Portola Valley Lobster Shack / Old Bay Lobster Shack
Multiple locations in the Bay Area
www.oplobster.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

When was the last time you saw an oyster bar in mall? Yeah, me either.

Back A Yard

Posted on 05/05/2015 by Randomly Edible

If you look up “hole in the wall” in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Back A Yard. This tiny little Caribbean eatery is exactly my kind of place – it’s quirky, unique, and adored by locals. From the moment I first heard about this place I knew I’d have to pay it a visit.

” Oh, how I’ve dreamt about those sides “

I don’t tend to trust Yelp very much, thanks to their questionable policies and gangster-like business practices, but it’s worth noting that Back A Yard is perched comfortably on top of Yelp’s highest rated list for the area. That is no easy feat, even if you’ve paid your monthly protection money. But enough about Yelp. This is about a great little restaurant and its relationship to my stomach.

This is the whole place. No really, this is it.

Parking at Back A Yard’s Menlo Park location is tricky at best, so if you have the opportunity to talk someone else into driving you there, you should. Once you manage to make your way inside, you will be greeted by an array of hand-written menu boards detailing the eight million different things you can order. There are a number of delightfully authentic choices available (Oxtails and sweet potato pudding anyone?), as well as a selection of more typically American lunch options.

The BBQ chicken was no-nonsense and delicious. Pretty good coleslaw too.

On my first visit I opted for a barbecue chicken lunch. In retrospect this was a stupid choice, because why would I go out of my way to visit a Caribbean joint and then not order Caribbean food? Yeah, sometimes I don’t understand me either. In any case, the barbecue chicken was wonderful. It was cooked to perfection and absolutely drenched in sauce. It came with a healthy serving of crinkle fries, cole slaw, and a dinner roll. A metric ton of napkins were also provided, which was a good thing – it was MESSY.

The jerk chicken was the lunch of my dreams.

Realizing that I had been an idiot, I returned a few days later and got myself some jerk chicken. Where, oh where has this place been all of my life?? The chicken was nothing short of amazing; it had an entire spice cupboard’s worth of flavor packed into every bite, and it was neither too spicy nor too mild. And the sides! Oh, how I’ve dreamt about those sides since I visited. The jerk chicken lunch comes with rice and beans – a personal favorite – as well as fried plantains – an even favoriter.. personal… uh, thing. I kind of wrote myself into a corner there.

Listen. It’s difficult to write sentences that make sense when you have fried plantains on the brain. They are one of the very best things in the entire world, and Back A Yard knows how to cook up a mean batch of them. Go get some. Now.

There is exactly as much seating available outside as there is inside: Not much.

Back A Yard is exactly the kind of place I love discovering: A homey little joint with fantastic food tucked away in a forgotten corner of town. If you’re a fan of Caribbean cuisine, this is the place you’ve been looking for. If you’ve never tried Caribbean, then get your butt down to Menlo Park sometime and give it a whirl. This eatery earns a respectable 16 out of 18 deliciously fried plantain slices, making it well worth a lunchtime visit. Just remember to get there a bit early if you expect to both park and find a place to sit.

Pros
+ 1) Authentic
+ 2) Caribbean
+ 3) Food
+ See pros 1-3

Cons
– It’s tiny inside
– I mean like really tiny
+ But nobody cares about that

Back A Yard
Two locations in the Bay Area
www.backayard.net

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Portola Valley Lobster Shack

Posted on 10/21/2014 by Randomly Edible

Portola Valley Lobster Shack is nestled away in a corner of Ladera Shopping Center along Alpine Road in, you guessed it, Portola Valley. Confusingly, this restaurant is sometimes called Old Port Lobster Shack, because that’s the name listed on the website. There are also two other locations listed under the Old Port moniker, but only one of the three follows this naming convention.

Yeah, I know. My head hurts too.

“Note: Flavor molecules may not actually exist”

Weird naming quirks aside, Portola Valley Lobster Shack is a wonderful little place. It’s quintessentially New-England-ish in its decor and food choices, but unlike many establishments actually located in New England, the people at Portola Valley are polite and friendly. What’s that, you say? I’m implying that people on the east coast are rude? No, I’m not implying that at all, I’m stating it as a fact. Hey, I used to live there so shaddap. (There, how was that for east coast charm?)

The menu at Portola Valley is a joy to browse. It’s one of those places where you just want to say, “One of everything please” and eat yourself into a coma. On my first visit I wanted to try the clam chowder because, well, how else are you supposed to judge a seafood restaurant? Then I saw the fish and chips and wanted that, but then I saw the lobster rolls. Oh boy. Sold. Then, just as I was closing the menu, I saw the mac and cheese! I am a rabid fanatic of baked mac, and I ended up going for the pulled pork mac & cheese. Yes I know it’s not a seafood dish, but it sounded so amazing I just couldn’t resist.

Pulled pork on baked mac & cheese. *dies*

Before I knew it, my dish of baked heaven appeared before my eyes, and it was magnificent. The pulled pork was tender, smoky, and jammed with flavor molecules. (Note: Flavor molecules may not actually exist, but you get the idea.) The mac & cheese was excellent as well, but ever so slightly understated. This is actually a good thing because it worked well to highlight the pulled pork, undoubtedly the star of the show. Alone, though, it could have used a teeny bit more flavor and/or cheesiness. It was still all kinds of epic win though.

The brisket is remarkably good, especially for a seafood restaurant.

On subsequent visits and with additional fellow dinner-ists, I also got a chance to try the brisket sandwich. Yes yes, I can hear you whining that this is a review for a seafood place and I still have yet to try any actual seafood. Just keep your pants on, we’re getting to that. The brisket was on par with the pulled pork, meaning that it was very good indeed. The barbecue at this place is better than what you’d find at most dedicated barbecue places actually, and that fact goes a long way towards showing that the folks in the kitchen here really know what they’re doing.

I totally took this picture myself. Yep.

There, see? I finally got to the fish and chips. More specifically, it’s haddock and chips, which is a nice little detail that really impresses me. Haddock is fairly common anywhere near the Atlantic Ocean, but seeing haddock this far west means that this restaurant is serious about being New England-y. Don’t take my word for it though. I dragged a native Bostonian here to give it a try, and he wasn’t very thrilled… until he saw that it was haddock. At that point (and after tasting the fish and chips) he changed his tune completely and had nothing but very positive things to say. On yet another visit I overheard a guy from England make a point of flagging down one of the people running the restaurant and complimenting them on the food. “It’s the best fish and chips I have had outside of London” were his exact words. And yes, I agree – the fish and chips are that good here. They are spectacular in fact.

At the end of the day, Portola Valley Lobster Shack is an excellent place to grab a bite to eat. If you’re hankering for a taste of east coast seafood or a bit of barbecue, this is the place for you. Rumor has it they make a mean lobster roll and a dandy cup of chowder as well, but my opinions on those will have to wait for a revisit. I hereby bestow a rating of 35,098,552,670,980 flavor molecules (out of 38,000,000,000,000 of course), which should land this restaurant pretty close to the middle of your radar screen. Visit here soon.

Portola Valley Lobster Shack / Old Bay Lobster Shack
Multiple locations in the Bay Area
www.oplobster.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Lots of seating outdoors, not lots indoors.

Standard Restaurant Review Disclaimer
The ambiguous and illogical rating system used in this review is not intended to be pinpoint accurate. It’s only there to give you a general idea of how much I like or dislike an establishment, and it also gives me an excuse to write silly things. If my rating system angers and distracts you, there’s a good chance you have control issues. I would also like to point out that I am not a highly qualified restaurant reviewer person, nor do I particularly care what that job is called. If you were under the impression that perhaps I was one of those people, consider your hopes dashed. Lastly, wow! You read the entire disclaimer. You get a gold star on your chart today.

Beer can chicken

Posted on 12/09/2013 by Randomly Edible

There is something deliciously hilarious about this recipe that appeals to all men. Beer combined with bored hillbillies is guaranteed to result in either disaster or hilarity. In this particular case, depending on whether or not you are the proctologically doomed chicken in question, it’s a little bit of both.

Skip to the short version

” I have no intention of finding out what Schlitz logo ink tastes like “

In a stroke of blind luck (or pure genius), it turns out that this is one of the easiest ways you can imagine to cook up a juicy, tender, and flavorful bird. The basic idea is that you’re steaming the chicken from the inside while roasting it on the outside, and there a number of different ways to accomplish this. In addition to using beer as the “steaming medium”, you can also use wine, cola, broth, lemonade… the list is endless. I’ll detail my own favorite recipe below, but don’t be afraid to experiment with different flavors.

A bottle of booze and a couple things from the yard are all you really need.

Truth be told, I have never tried using an actual can of beer; there are all sorts of things in and on aluminum cans that were never intended to be exposed to high temperatures. I have no intention of finding out what Schlitz logo ink tastes like, so instead I use a specially made porcelain steamer thingy called a Sittin’ Chicken. There are a number of different options that also accomplish the same thing, most notably the Poultry Pal. Choose whatever gizmo you like best and start getting your ingredients together.

Ingredients

a chicken!
white wine
1/2 medium onion
1/2 lemon
4 or 5 fresh rosemary sprigs
olive oil
poultry seasoning

Other stuff you’ll need

a drip pan or disposable aluminum tray
a wooden skewer
a meat thermometer
a steamer to sit your chicken on (can of beer, Sittin’ Chicken, etc.)
someone to take incriminating pictures of you sticking things in a chicken’s butt

Directions

You can use either a barbecue or an oven to prepare this recipe. A regular old charcoal barbecue or grill is preferable, but anything capable of maintaining medium heat for a few hours will do. This recipe does best when the heat is concentrated below the chicken, so if your oven will do that sort of thing (sometimes called a “baking” setting), set it up that way. If you’re using a smoker or barbecue, you want direct heat right on the bottom of the chicken. Not tons of heat, but it should be direct as opposed to indirect. What we want to do is get the liquid in the steamer (or can) as hot as possible, preferably boiling. If you just roast or broil the chicken, the steamer will be the last thing to heat up and will only reach about 165 degrees, doing a poor job of providing flavor and steam. So, set up your oven or grill for direct, bottom-only heat and start it warming up. Aim for about 275-300 degrees F.

Cut up the lemon and the onion into rough chunks and put them in the steamer, filling it loosely about halfway. Place the rosemary sprigs in the center of the steamer, standing them up like a bouquet. Pour in the white wine, filling it almost all the way to the top. Place the whole thing in the center of your drip pan.

Please have a seat and enjoy the sauna.

Rinse the chicken with water, inside and out. Remove the giblets and any other nasty bits you find inside and throw them away. Or, if you have carnivorous pets, throw the giblets in the drip pan instead and they will become delicious and disgusting treats for later. Sprinkle a healthy amount of your poultry seasoning (I sometimes just use thyme and oregano) inside the chicken cavity. Carefully sit the chicken on top of the steamer, making sure all the rosemary sprigs end up inside the bird. Rub the skin thoroughly with olive oil and sprinkle or rub more of your seasoning on the outside. Using the skewer, “sew” the neck of the chicken shut so that none of the steam can escape. Put your new best bird friend in your oven or barbecue and begin rubbing your hands with glee.

The dinner guest has arrived.

Start checking the internal temperature of the chicken after about an hour. You will want to probe multiple locations with the meat thermometer, namely the legs, back, breast, neck, and cavity. Poultry is considered done at 165 degrees F, so make absolutely sure there aren’t any spots on the bird below that temperature. I tend to go a bit above that when making this recipe, mostly because you don’t need to worry as much about the meat drying out thanks to the steamer. I prefer my chicken (especially the dark meat) falling-off-the-bone tender as opposed to barely done, but that’s just me. Once the chicken is done how you like it, remove it from wherever it’s been cooking and try not to drool on it. Depending on the size of the bird, your particular grill or oven, and the type and degree of heat, it will take from 1 to 3 hours to cook completely. It’s done when it’s done; trying to force a specific timeline on it will only lead to tears.

Remove the chicken from the steamer and serve sliced, quartered, pulled, or just get in there with your bare hands and devour it like a wild animal.

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Now that’s what I’m talking about.

tl;dr

Beer can chicken

Ingredients

a chicken!
white wine
1/2 medium onion
1/2 lemon
4 or 5 fresh rosemary sprigs
olive oil
poultry seasoning

Other stuff you’ll need

a drip pan or disposable aluminum tray
a wooden skewer
a meat thermometer
a steamer to sit your chicken on (can of beer, Sittin’ Chicken, etc.)

Directions

Set up barbecue for direct heat, 275-300 degrees F. Cut lemon and onion into rough chunks and place in steamer along with rosemary sprigs. Fill steamer with white wine and place in center of drip pan. Rinse chicken with water, remove giblets, and place upright over steamer. Rub skin with olive oil and sprinkle with poultry seasoning. Use wooden skewer to sew neck hole shut. Roast chicken for 1-3 hours, until internal temperature is at least 165 degrees F. Check multiple points around chicken, including thigh joints. Remove from heat and serve immediately.

See also

Barbecued beef brisket

Posted on 11/26/2013 by Randomly Edible

There is never a bad time for barbecue, especially at Thanksgiving. Forget the turkey, make a brisket instead! Sure, your guests might throw a bit of a fuss when they find out the traditional roast bird is off the menu, but don’t worry about it. Once the aroma of tender, smoked beef hits their upturned noses, they’ll think twice about complaining to the cook.

Skip to the short version

Top 5 reasons to serve brisket instead of turkey

You like awesome things
You’re a turkey sympathizer
You forgot to buy a turkey
You remembered to buy a turkey but forgot to thaw it
You’re a rebel

To a lot of people, the term “barbecued” is the same thing as “grilled”. While the two words are sometimes interchangeable, true barbecuing (at least as far as North Americans are concerned) involves indirect heat and is essentially low temperature roasting. If you were to grill a brisket directly over an open flame, you would end up with something slightly less appealing than boiled shoe leather. If, on the other hand, you decide to barbecue that same brisket, low and slow and with much loving care, you will be rewarded with some of the juiciest and most flavorful beef you’ve ever experienced.

” Apply more cocktails to your liver while you wait “

Now that we have the silly definitions out of the way, you’ll need something to barbecue your brisket in. There are a number of different options here, some of which work better than others. A purpose-built smoker like a Big Green Egg or drum-style barbecue is ideal. Standard Weber-style charcoal barbecues can be made to work, as can propane grills. Whatever setup you’re using, you will need it to maintain a steady temperature in the low 200 degree range for about ten hours.

Of all places, Smart & Final stocks whole briskets regularly. They’re cheap as heck too.

The last time I made a brisket – the one pictured here – I followed Chris Lilly’s recipe. His process involves a wet rub followed by a dry rub, and it’s remarkably delicious. Because I don’t want to Chris to sue my eyebrows off, I’m not going to repeat the recipe here. If you want to know what it is, you’ll have to buy a copy of Big Bob Gibson’s BBQ Book and read it for yourself. What I will say is that I like Grill Mates Texas BBQ Rub as well as anything, so if in doubt just go with that.

Ingredients

A humongous whole brisket, between 10 and 15 lbs
some kind of dry rub

Other stuff you’ll need

wood chips for additional smoke flavor (e.g., hickory, apple wood, etc.)
aluminum foil
a large drip pan or disposable aluminum foil tray
a meat thermometer
freezer paper
cocktails

Get your barbecue/smoker/whatever going at 225 degrees F, set up for indirect heat. Wash off the giant hunk of dinosaur meat with water and pat dry with paper towels. Apply the dry rub liberally to both sides, and then haul it outside to your eagerly awaiting pit of fire. Place the brisket on the barbecue fat side up and away from any direct flames, close the lid, and leave it alone for a while. (This is where the cocktails come in.)

Moo

Every hour or so, check your barbecue to make sure it’s holding the correct temperature and add a few wood chips to increase the smoke flavor. At around the six hour mark, start checking the internal meat temperature as well. Once the meat hits about 165 degrees F, remove it from the grill and place it in a roasting or drip pan. Pour a cup of water into the pan and cover tightly with aluminum foil. Place the whole thing back in the barbecue for another two-ish hours. Cocktail time.

This step only requires 527 square feet of foil.

Once the internal temperature of the meat hits 185 degrees F, remove it from the barbecue (but leave it covered!) and allow it to rest at room temperature for an hour. Don’t worry, it will stay very hot on its own for quite a long time. Apply more cocktails to your liver while you wait.

When the hour is up, you’re ready to carve. Clear a large area on your kitchen counter and lay out a few large sheets of freezer paper, plastic side down. Uncover the brisket, carefully remove it from the pan, and be prepared to have every single living creature in your house begin crowding you, begging for samples. Threaten them with your carving knife to help clear some elbow room. Trim away the fat cap, separate the point from the flat, and slice against the grain. If none of that made any sense to you at all, here’s a helpful video that should clear things up.

The big reveal. Save those pan drippings!

At this point you will probably have noticed that there are quite a lot of drippings sloshing around in the empty pan. Skim the fat off the top (I recommend using a fat separator) and set the fat-less juice aside. This heavenly beef juice can be used as a drizzle on top of servings of sliced brisket, and it also does a great job of preventing any leftover meat from drying out in the fridge or freezer.

Enjoy the meat coma, and happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble gobble? Indeed.

tl;dr

Barbecued beef brisket

Ingredients

A whole beef brisket, between 10 and 15 lbs
some kind of dry rub

Other stuff you’ll need

wood chips for additional smoke flavor (e.g., hickory, apple wood, etc.)
aluminum foil
a large drip pan or disposable aluminum foil tray
a meat thermometer
freezer paper

Directions

Set up barbecue/smoker for indirect heat, preheat to 225 degrees F. Rinse brisket with cold water, pat dry with paper towels, and apply dry rub liberally. Place brisket on grill fat side up and cook for at least 6 hours, adding wood chips every hour for additional smoke flavor. When internal temperature reaches 165 degrees F, remove brisket from grill and place into roasting pan along with one cup of water. Cover tightly with foil and return brisket to grill. Cook for another 2 hours or until internal temperature reaches 185 degrees F. Remove from grill and allow to rest for 1 to 2 hours, leave covered in foil. Uncover and retain pan drippings. Carve brisket and serve.

See also

Randomly Edible

Mostly a food blog. Sort of.

Tag Archives: barbecue

Random Revisit: Old Port Lobster Shack

Back A Yard

Portola Valley Lobster Shack

Beer can chicken

Barbecued beef brisket

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