Category Archives: Recipes

Nummy things for you to make.

No-bake peanut butter bars

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I have met people who claim that they don’t like peanut butter. Allergies are one thing, but simply not liking it? Ridiculous. I assume these same people enjoy pulling the wings off of butterflies and farting in elevators, and I want nothing to do with them. This recipe is not for those people, it’s for the rest of the normal humans in the world who love the bejeepers out of some PB.

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” Nobody wants your fingers in their dessert. Focus.”

This is another one of those recipes of which there are a thousand slightly different versions, and nobody knows who came up with it first. The first time I came across this recipe was on this website; I have adjusted the preparation and some of the quantities slightly. The real beauty of this recipe is its simplicity, ease of preparation, and minimum number of ingredients. An added bonus is that the finished product is maddeningly delicious and will throw you into an immediate sugar-and-peanut-butter induced coma.


Ingredients

  • 2 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs (about half a box of crackers)
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 cup salted butter, melted
  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • 1 bag chocolate chips (11oz)


Directions

Take a bunch of graham crackers and smash the crap out of them. You can use a blender or a food processor, but I find that a plastic bag and a wooden spoon work just fine. Leave the peanut butter alone – don’t eat any of it. I know it’s tempting, but just put it somewhere out of sight for now. Where were we? Graham crackers. Once you have pounded two cups of crumbs into oblivion, dump them into a big bowl. Add the brown sugar and powdered sugar and whisk together thoroughly.

Stop eating the peanut butter. Stop it. You won’t have enough for the recipe if you’re going to be a little piggy.

Melt the butter and add it to the dry ingredients, and add the vanilla as well. Yes, you are allowed to touch the peanut butter now. Add a cup to… No. To the bowl, not your face. I’m serious. It goes in the bowl. There, I knew you could do it. Stir everything up until it’s an even consistency and scoop it into an ungreased 9×13 baking dish.

Oh sweet, sweet heavenly peanut butter mixture. You speak to me.

Oh sweet, sweet heavenly peanut butter mixture. You speak to me.

Melt the chocolate chips in a double boiler. If you don’t have one of those then carefully CAREFULLY melt them in the microwave. It’s a surprisingly tricky business. Use half power and nuke for one to two minutes tops, monitoring closely. I recommend stopping every 20 seconds or so and giving the chips a stir to see how they’re doing. Once the chips are mostly melted (but there are still a few solid chunks) they are done. Just keep stirring until the remaining solid bits melt and you’re good to go.

Listen to me. Put the peanut butter jar down. No more for you. None. And stay out of the chocolate. Nobody wants your fingers in their dessert. Focus.

My chocolate senses are tingling.

My chocolate senses are tingling.

Using a rubber spatula-scraper-thingy, spread the ooey melted chocolate evenly on top of the layer of pure peanut buttery heaven. Go slowly and do your best not to get any peanut butter bits in the chocolate or else all your friends will know you’re incompetent, and they will point and laugh at you in mockery. (Note: If this situation occurs, tell your friends they can go get bent and that you’ll keep all the peanut butter bars for yourself.)

Refrigerate for at least an hour. Cut, serve, gloat, and enjoy the sugar coma.

Nobody cares if you cut them straight or not. They're just interested in the peanut butter.

Nobody cares if you cut them straight or not. They’re just interested in the peanut butter.



tl;dr

No-bake peanut butter bars

Ingredients

  • 2 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs (about half a box of crackers)
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 cup salted butter, melted
  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • 1 bag chocolate chips (11oz)


Directions

Crush graham crackers to the consistency of coarse sand, whisk together with brown sugar and powdered sugar. Add melted butter, vanilla, and peanut butter and stir well. Spread in an even layer in the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish. Top with melted chocolate, refrigerate for at least one hour, slice and serve.



See also


Tater Tot casserole

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My wife Shawn and I have a lot in common, especially our tastes in cuisine. We particularly enjoy comfort food type dishes, and we have quite a collection of recipes in this category. We tend to cook these dishes while we are camping (we have a 5th wheel RV trailer the size of Iceland and an equally massive redneck truck to tow it with), so we have dubbed this sort of food “trailer trash”. We love the heck out of it.

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” If you’re a wimp, top with the recommended two cups of cheese “

This recipe is fits squarely into the above category, and we couldn’t be happier about that. It’s apparently a classic, but it’s a new one on us. The version we initially came across was this one, but you can find unsurprisingly similar recipes here, here, and here. It includes all the cornerstones of blue collar cooking, namely meat, cheese, potatoes, and cream of chicken soup. There is no way this can suck.


Ingredients

  • 1 lb ground beef (We prefer to use ground turkey. Get over it.)
  • 1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 1 can (10.75oz) cream of chicken soup.
  • 1 small package (16oz) frozen Tater Tots
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese


Directions

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F. If you don’t know what “F” means, I’m not going to explain it. That’s your fault for not paying attention in school. In a skillet, sauté the onion in a little butter and olive oil. Add the ground beef and cook until browned. If you prefer a bit more onion-y-ness in your food, brown the beef first and add the onion after. Or, if you are feeling particularly lazy, you can use dehydrated onion instead.

Stir the cream of chicken soup into the ground beef mixture, salt and pepper to taste, and spread evenly in the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish. Top with the frozen Tater Tots in whatever form of symmetry makes you feel good about yourself. In a related side note, do not attempt to eat a frozen Tot – they are crazy disgusting when not cooked. I’ve heard. Bake for about 30 minutes or until the Tater Tots are golden brown. Don’t worry about the cheese, we haven’t forgotten it. That comes next.

omg cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

omg cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

Remove casserole from oven and, if you’re a wimp, top with the recommended two cups of cheese. If, on the other hand, you feel more fiercely independent and confident in your kitchen abilities, add three cups of cheese. OR FOUR. Don’t let some stupid recipe tell you how much cheese is enough – that’s your decision dammit. Once you have added the appropriate amount of cheese, return the casserole to the oven and bake until the cheese is golden brown and bubbly, say 5 or 10 minutes.

Serve with a nice… Actually, you know what? Screw the side dishes. This has everything in it already. Just eat it!

Trailer trash heaven on a plate.

Trailer trash heaven on a plate.



tl;dr

Tater Tot casserole

Ingredients

  • 1 lb ground beef or turkey
  • 1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 1 can (10.75oz) cream of chicken soup.
  • 1 small package (16oz) frozen Tater Tots
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese


Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Sauté onion in butter and olive oil, add ground beef/turkey and cook until browned. Stir in cream of chicken soup, salt and pepper to taste, and spread evenly in the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish. Top with frozen Tater Tots and bake for 30 minutes or until Tater Tots are golden brown. Remove casserole from oven, top with cheese, and return to oven for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly.



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Nutella French toast with strawberries

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I give my wife full credit for coming up with this one. She was browsing around for breakfast recipes and spotted the word “Nutella”, followed shortly by “strawberries”. She proclaimed that we needed to make some sort of French toast sandwich thing using those ingredients, and that sounded like a splendid idea to me. Here’s what we came up with.

Skip to the short version


Ingredients:

  • some kind of bread (we used King’s Hawaiian)
  • Nutella
  • fresh strawberries
  • sugar
  • eggs
  • milk
  • vanilla extract
  • butter (salted or unsalted)


Directions:

” You’ll know you’re close to done when the Nutella starts to get melty “

Wash and cut up the strawberries into cubes or slices or whatever you like and set aside. If you prefer your strawberries a little sweeter and slightly more syrupy, mix the strawberry bits with a couple of tablespoons of sugar first.

Spread some Nutella on a slice of bread and stick a second piece of bread on top to make a sandwich. A little Nutella goes a long way, but if you’re in the mood for gooey chocolate overload then by all means pile it on. Mix up some French toast dredge (a few eggs, a few tablespoons of milk, and a dash of vanilla) and you’re ready for breakfast magic.

Warm up a skillet to medium heat and melt a pat of butter in it. The skillet should be hot enough to sizzle the butter, but not much more than that. Put a Nutella sandwich into the egg mixture, making sure to coat both sides, and carefully place it in the skillet. Cook slowly, flipping once when the bottom is toasty and delish looking. You’ll know you’re close to done when the Nutella starts to get melty. Remove from skillet, top with strawberries, and nom.

Epic breakfast win.

Epic breakfast win.



tl;dr

Nutella French toast with strawberries

Ingredients:

  • some kind of bread (we used King’s Hawaiian)
  • Nutella
  • fresh strawberries
  • sugar
  • eggs
  • milk
  • vanilla extract
  • butter (salted or unsalted)


Directions:

Whisk together eggs with a few tablespoons of milk and vanilla extract. Spead Nutella on one slice on one slice of bread and cover with a second slice to make a sandwich. Dredge sandwich in egg mixture for 20 seconds per side or until moderately saturated. Place in a skillet over medium-low heat and cook slowly until browned, flip and repeat. Serve with sliced strawberries.



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