Tag Archives: Cream cheese

Cheesy bacon ranch dip

Posted on by
Reply

This past Sunday was one of my favorite holidays of the year: National Party Food Day. Friends and family gather together to eat until they are sick and share their trashy recipes with one another. Some people refer to this holiday as “Super Bowl” but to be honest I’m not sure why. I guess there must be some sort of football game being played in honor of the holiday.

Skip to the short version

Did I mention that there's bacon in this recipe?

Did I mention that there’s bacon in this recipe?

” Attack viciously with chips and veggies “

My go-to recipe for this sort of thing is usually Ro*Tel sausage dip, but this year I wanted to try something new. After hours of scavenging around on Pinterest, my ever-resourceful spouse discovered something called “warm crack dip“. I knew immediately that the name had to go, but the ingredient list looked promising. I modified the recipe slightly, renamed it, and the result was a resounding success. And now I present it to you.


Ingredients

  • 1 package cream cheese, softened (8oz)
  • 1 large tub sour cream (16oz)
  • 1 package ranch dressing mix (1oz)
  • 2 cups grated cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 to 1 lb diced bacon, cooked
  • chips or veggies for dipping


Other stuff you’ll need

  • an 8×8 casserole dish
  • aluminum foil


Directions

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F and start dicing the raw bacon. If you like salty stuff with lots and lots of bacon flavor, add the whole pound of bacon. If you are feeling less awesome but more reasonable, go with a half pound. You can fry it up in a pan if you like, but my favorite way to cook bacon is in the oven. Simply line a cookie sheet (one that has sides) with foil, spread out the diced bacon, and bake at 400 for around 20 minutes – you can do this while the oven is preheating as well.

Bacon + cookie sheet + oven = easy peasy

Bacon + cookie sheet + oven = easy peasy

Yes, you can use bacon bits instead of doing all this work, but you will then be forced to hang your head in shame at the greatness you could have attained but threw away.

In a bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, sour cream, and ranch dressing mix. Stir in the grated cheese and cooked bacon.

Look at all the BACONNNNNNN

Look at all the BACONNNNNNN

Spread the mixture into your 8×8 casserole dish, cover with foil, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

The final countdown has begun.

The final countdown has begun.

When the dip is heated through and bubbly, it’s ready. Attack viciously with chips and veggies (bell peppers are my personal favorite).

Fritos are the trashiest of all snack chips. Love 'em.

Fritos are the trashiest of all snack chips. Love ’em.




tl;dr

Cheesy bacon ranch dip

Ingredients

  • 1 package cream cheese, softened (8oz)
  • 1 large tub sour cream (16oz)
  • 1 package ranch dressing mix (1oz)
  • 2 cups grated cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 to 1 lb diced bacon, cooked
  • chips or veggies for dipping


Other stuff you’ll need

  • an 8×8 casserole dish
  • aluminum foil


Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Combine softened cream cheese, sour cream, and ranch dressing mix. Stir in grated cheese and cooked bacon. Spread mixture into 8×8 casserole dish and bake for 25-30 minutes or until heated through. Serve with chips and veggies.



See also


Standard Recipe Disclaimer
I don’t come up with a lot of my own recipes (unless you count my own personal milk-to-Grape-Nuts ratio), and chances are the recipe posted above belongs to or was inspired by a person other than me. So if you’re wondering whether or not I ripped somebody off, I probably did. Don’t get out the pitchforks and torches just yet though! I want to make absolutely sure I give credit where it’s due, so if you think someone deserves recognition for something that I haven’t already called out FOR CRYING OUT LOUD LET ME KNOW. Thanks, I appreciate it. Here’s a cookie.


Ro*Tel sausage dip

Posted on by
3

This easy-to-make, satisfying recipe is one of my favorite party foods. It’s delicious, doesn’t mess up your whole kitchen, and requires no real planning ahead. It comes together as quickly as a box of brownies, and it’s far less likely to be duplicated by other party patrons. It’s also hearty enough to act as a makeshift dinner, should you find yourself starving to death amidst a forest of pretzels, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and inexpensive cheese cubes.

Skip to the short version

I was first introduced to this recipe some years ago by my wife. At the time I had assumed that, like her, Ro*Tel sausage dip heralded from Texas. Upon further research, however, I discovered that nobody really knows where the hell it comes from. I know where it’s going though, and that’s in my belly.

This picture makes my blog look like a Penny Saver ad.

This picture makes my blog look like a Penny Saver ad.


Ingredients

Your first task is to collect the items you see before you. I strongly recommend against substituting anything, as the strength of this recipe lies in the synergy of its simple ingredients. To goof around with any of the three main components is to invite disappointment. If you have a hard time locating the Ro*Tel, look wherever your grocery store stocks canned tomatoes.

  • 1 lb Jimmy Dean bulk pork sausage
  • 1 can Ro*Tel (10 oz)
  • 1 brick (8 oz) Philadelphia Cream Cheese
  • 1 bag Tostitos Scoops


Directions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Before you do anything else, take the cream cheese out of the fridge and set it on the counter to soften – this will make it easier to work with later. On medium-high heat, brown the sausage in a large frying pan. Or, if you have a cast iron skillet, use that instead. Not only does it do a better job of crisping up the sausage, but it can go straight into the oven as well.

Brown that little piggy. Brown him good.

Brown that little piggy. Brown him good.

Break up the larger chunks of sausage as it cooks, making sure it’s done all the way through. If the grease freaks you out, drain it off.

Reduce heat to medium and add the cream cheese and can of Ro*Tel. There’s no need to drain the Ro*Tel, just dump it in there juice and all.

Everyone in the pool!

Everyone in the pool!

Stir carefully until the cream cheese has completely melted and the mixture is evenly blended, then turn off the heat and transfer the whole mess to a casserole dish of some kind. A Pyrex baking dish is a good choice; any size will do as long as it can hold all of the sausage mixture without overflowing.

Bake uncovered for 10 or 15 minutes, until your newly created sausage dip is bubbly and awesome. Break out the Scoops and dig in, but remember not to burn away all the flesh from the roof of your mouth. If you’re going to take this to a shindig at someone else’s house, cover it securely with aluminum foil, wrap it in an old (but clean!) bath towel, and lay it flat in the trunk of your car. It will stay hot for a couple hours this way – no reheating necessary.

Enjoy!

Warning: It's 3,697 degrees hotter than you think it is. Consume slowly.

Warning: It’s 3,697 degrees hotter than you think it is. Consume slowly.




tl;dr

Ro*Tel sausage dip

Ingredients

  • 1 lb Jimmy Dean bulk pork sausage
  • 1 can Ro*Tel (10 oz)
  • 1 brick (8 oz) Philadelphia Cream Cheese
  • 1 bag Tostitos Scoops


Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Brown sausage, add undrained can of Ro*Tel and cream cheese. Stir until cream ceese is evenly mixed in. Transfer to baking dish, bake for 15 minutes or until bubbly. Serve hot with Scoops.



See also


Standard Recipe Disclaimer
I don’t come up with a lot of my own recipes (unless you count my own personal milk-to-Grape-Nuts ratio), and chances are the recipe posted above belongs to or was inspired by a person other than me. So if you’re wondering whether or not I ripped somebody off, I probably did. Don’t get out the pitchforks and torches just yet though! I want to make absolutely sure I give credit where it’s due, so if you think someone deserves recognition for something that I haven’t already called out FOR CRYING OUT LOUD LET ME KNOW. Thanks, I appreciate it. Here’s a cookie.


Pumpkin butter cake

Posted on by
4

I like to think of this recipe as a redneck twist on pumpkin pie. In truth, it’s a holiday twist on a popular redneck recipe, but let’s not split hairs. This decadent, gooey, decidedly bad-for-you dessert has become a holiday favorite among my friends and family, and it’s well on the way to becoming a tradition. Butter cake really isn’t a cake at all, more like a dense cake-pie hybrid; not even the most stoic pumpkin pie loyalists are immune to the allure of this stuff.

Skip to the short version

“Throw the box away, directions and all. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

Having been born and (mostly) raised in California, I had never heard of butter cake before a few years ago. All desserts in California are strictly forbidden by law to have flavor or calories, and they must also include organic agave syrup, Brussels sprouts, and lima bean flour. My spouse, a proud Texan, set me straight and introduced me to butter cake, and I have been a huge fan ever since. This particular recipe is essentially the same as Paula Deen’s, but with a couple of minor tweaks.


Ingredients

Cake

  • 1 box of regular old yellow cake mix
  • 1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
  • 1 egg

Filling

  • 1 can pumpkin (15 oz)
  • 1 package cream cheese (8 oz)
  • 1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 box (or bag) powdered sugar (16 oz)
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg


Other stuff you’ll need

  • an electric hand mixer
  • a large mixing bowl
  • a 13×9 baking dish
  • insulin


Directions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Open up the box of yellow cake mix and dump the contents into the mixing bowl. Throw the box away, directions and all. Feels good, doesn’t it? It’s fun being a kitchen rebel. Melt the stick of butter (30 seconds in the microwave will do the job), pour it into the cake mix, and give it a quick spin with the mixer. Add the egg and mix well. On a quick aside, you need to be careful anytime you are mixing any hot ingredients with raw egg. If you add one directly to the other, you run the risk of partially cooking the egg before it can get properly mixed in. Anywho, when you’re done you should end up with a bowl of thick yellow stuff the consistency of cookie dough. Lightly grease the 13×9 baking dish and press the cake mixture into the bottom in an even layer. You don’t need to be gentle – just smash the hell out of it and make sure it gets all the way into the corners.

It looks like cake batter, but it's oh so much better.

It looks like cake batter, but it’s oh so much better.

Now it’s time to start working on the filling. It’s very important to make sure the cream cheese is room temperature at this point – it won’t mix right when it’s cold. You can attempt to carefully microwave it if you so desire, but I never like how it turns out. If you’re working with refrigerator temperature cream cheese, really your best bet is to just leave it out on the counter and go do something else for 45 minutes.

Mix the (now softened) cream cheese and the pumpkin until well blended and silky smooth. Melt the butter and add it to the mixture along with the vanilla and eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, nutmeg, and cinnamon – feel free to double up on the cinnamon if you like. I find that nutmeg tends to clump, so make extra sure there aren’t any nuggets of the stuff lurking around in the sugar mixture. Biting into a powdery pocket of nutmeg is similar to eating underarm deodorant; avoid this if you possibly can. Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet, taking care not to fling powdered sugar into the farthest corners of your kitchen.

Pumpkin pie, eat your heart out.

Pumpkin pie, eat your heart out.

Pour the pumpkin mixture on top of the cake layer. Using the back of a spoon, “coax” the pumpkin mixture into the corners of the pan and make sure the whole thing is nice and level. Carefully place the pan in the oven and set the timer for 50 minutes.

When the timer goes off, take the cake out of the oven. Don’t think, just do it. The cake will appear to be very liquidy, but don’t panic. Trust me. The first time I made this I thought I had completely screwed it up, but this is how it’s supposed to be. If you are using a glass pan, you will be able to see that the cake is nice and toasty brown on the bottom – that means it’s done. Resist the urge to bake it for longer and just let it cool for a while. It will set up nicely over the next hour or so.

Nomming will happen very soon. Oh yes, very soon indeed.

Nomming will happen very soon. Oh yes, very soon indeed.

Slice it into squares, serve it with ice cream or Cool Whip or however you like it, and enjoy. You may never buy another pumpkin pie again.

I'm going to skip dinner and just have more of this.

I’m going to skip dinner and just have more of this.



tl;dr

Pumpkin butter cake

Ingredients

Cake

  • 1 box of regular old yellow cake mix
  • 1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
  • 1 egg

Filling

  • 1 can pumpkin (15 oz)
  • 1 package cream cheese (8 oz)
  • 1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 box (or bag) powdered sugar (16 oz)
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg


Other stuff you’ll need

  • an electric hand mixer
  • a large mixing bowl
  • a 13×9 baking dish


Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine cake mix, 1 egg, and 1 stick of butter, melted. Press mixture into the bottom of lightly greased baking dish. Mix cream cheese and pumpkin until well blended. Melt remaining stick of butter and add to pumpkin mixture, along with vanilla, and 3 eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together powdered sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet, stir until evenly blended. Pour into baking dish on top of cake mixture. Bake for 50 minutes. Center will appear runny but will solidify as cake cools. Slice and serve once completely cooled.



See also