Cheesy bacon ranch dip

Posted on 02/05/2015 by Randomly Edible

This past Sunday was one of my favorite holidays of the year: National Party Food Day. Friends and family gather together to eat until they are sick and share their trashy recipes with one another. Some people refer to this holiday as “Super Bowl” but to be honest I’m not sure why. I guess there must be some sort of football game being played in honor of the holiday.

Skip to the short version

Did I mention that there’s bacon in this recipe?

” Attack viciously with chips and veggies “

My go-to recipe for this sort of thing is usually Ro*Tel sausage dip, but this year I wanted to try something new. After hours of scavenging around on Pinterest, my ever-resourceful spouse discovered something called “warm crack dip“. I knew immediately that the name had to go, but the ingredient list looked promising. I modified the recipe slightly, renamed it, and the result was a resounding success. And now I present it to you.

Ingredients

1 package cream cheese, softened (8oz)
1 large tub sour cream (16oz)
1 package ranch dressing mix (1oz)
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
1/2 to 1 lb diced bacon, cooked
chips or veggies for dipping

Other stuff you’ll need

an 8×8 casserole dish
aluminum foil

Directions

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F and start dicing the raw bacon. If you like salty stuff with lots and lots of bacon flavor, add the whole pound of bacon. If you are feeling less awesome but more reasonable, go with a half pound. You can fry it up in a pan if you like, but my favorite way to cook bacon is in the oven. Simply line a cookie sheet (one that has sides) with foil, spread out the diced bacon, and bake at 400 for around 20 minutes – you can do this while the oven is preheating as well.

Bacon + cookie sheet + oven = easy peasy

Yes, you can use bacon bits instead of doing all this work, but you will then be forced to hang your head in shame at the greatness you could have attained but threw away.

In a bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, sour cream, and ranch dressing mix. Stir in the grated cheese and cooked bacon.

Look at all the BACONNNNNNN

Spread the mixture into your 8×8 casserole dish, cover with foil, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

The final countdown has begun.

When the dip is heated through and bubbly, it’s ready. Attack viciously with chips and veggies (bell peppers are my personal favorite).

Fritos are the trashiest of all snack chips. Love ’em.

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tl;dr

Cheesy bacon ranch dip

Ingredients

1 package cream cheese, softened (8oz)
1 large tub sour cream (16oz)
1 package ranch dressing mix (1oz)
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
1/2 to 1 lb diced bacon, cooked
chips or veggies for dipping

Other stuff you’ll need

an 8×8 casserole dish
aluminum foil

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Combine softened cream cheese, sour cream, and ranch dressing mix. Stir in grated cheese and cooked bacon. Spread mixture into 8×8 casserole dish and bake for 25-30 minutes or until heated through. Serve with chips and veggies.

See also

Standard Recipe Disclaimer
I don’t come up with a lot of my own recipes (unless you count my own personal milk-to-Grape-Nuts ratio), and chances are the recipe posted above belongs to or was inspired by a person other than me. So if you’re wondering whether or not I ripped somebody off, I probably did. Don’t get out the pitchforks and torches just yet though! I want to make absolutely sure I give credit where it’s due, so if you think someone deserves recognition for something that I haven’t already called out FOR CRYING OUT LOUD LET ME KNOW. Thanks, I appreciate it. Here’s a cookie.

The Great South Bay Falafel-Off

Posted on 02/02/2015 by Randomly Edible

In ancient times, falafels were not just delicious fried balls of chick peas. Falafel making was at the center of human existence in those days; empires rose and fell at the mercy of their leaders’ falafel prowess. To question another’s falafel was to insult the very core of their being, and bloody falafel duels were common on the dusty streets of, uh … the cities where, um, falafels were popular. Whichever cities those were. I’m not really sure.

” No, ‘gyros’ is not plural “

Ok, so perhaps I’ve embellished a little bit on the history of falafels, but that’s beside the point. What really matters is that I have personally researched two present-day South Bay chick pea giants: Falafel’s Drive-In and Falafel Stop. Let’s see how they compare.

Falafel’s Drive-In

Smallest ‘parking lot’ I have ever seen. I’m not sure it can hold an entire car.

The first stop on my quest for the greatest Mediterranean food within five miles of my house was Falafel’s Drive-In. This place was already immensely popular before being featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives back in 2007, and since then it’s become even more mainstream. The first thing my lunch party and I noticed when we pulled up was a cartooned Guy Fieri featured in the middle of a large, colorful mural in the semi-outdoor dining area. Then we spotted another Guy Fieri in another mural, and then another. So pretty much this place is the Church of Guy. Weird. If anyone had asked me if I’d like some Kool-Aid, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

The decor isn’t boring, that’s for sure.

The menu offers a variety of Middle Eastern and Mediterranean dishes, as well as more traditional diner fare like burgers and fries. After deliberating on the menu and placing our order, it took only a few minutes for our food to show up at the window – barely enough time to finish counting Guys.

No, ‘gyros’ is not plural.

I opted for a gyros pita, mostly because that’s what I always get at places like this. Instead of the thin strips I was expecting, Falafel’s Drive-In serves their gyros meat as large, cubed lumps… and it really works. The tzatziki sauce was excellent, the veggies were crisp and fresh as can be, and the pita bread was stuffed to its absolute maximum capacity. I’ve had plenty of gyros over the years, and this is one of the better ones I’ve encountered. I’ll be back for another one of those.

I’m pretty sure I have no idea how to pronounce this.

Also included in our lunch order was a koubby, which is basically a large beef meatball with pine nuts and onions wearing a crispy wheat jacket. None of us at the table knew how to pronounce “koubby” but we guessed it might rhyme with “Scooby”, and so we simply referred to it as a Scooby Snack. This is undoubtedly incorrect on many levels, but because it amused us we just went with it.

I don’t have a lot of experience with Scooby Snacks – indeed, it was something new for all of us – but I am happy to report that it was very tasty indeed. I noticed a definite undertone of cinnamon in the ground beef filling, but it was well-balanced and very meaty. It reminded me very much of pastitsio (aka Greek lasagne) in its flavor profile. Delicious.

Everyone likes pictures of French fries.

Falafel’s Drive-In is also very well known for their banana milkshakes, but because it was a million degrees below zero that day we opted out. Ok, so it was actually about 55 degrees F, but in California that’s cold enough to make liquid nitrogen. Weather aside, I give Falafel’s Drive-In a very respectable 8 out of 10 Scooby Snacks. We very much enjoyed our visit and would be happy to return sometime very soon.

Pros
+ Gigantical chunks of gyros meat
+ Scooby Snacks!
+ It’s been on Triple-D
+ Banana milkshakes are rumored to be awesome

Cons
– Guy is watching you
– No parking to speak of

Falafel’s Drive-In
2301 Stevens Creek Boulevard
San Jose, CA 95128
(408) 294-7886
www.falafelsdrivein.com

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——————————————————————

Falafel Stop

Exactly like Falafel’s Drive-In, minus the murals.

The second half of this Mediterranean showdown takes place at Falafel Stop, another icon of South Bay one-off fast food. At first glance, it looks pretty much the same as Falafel’s Drive-In. It has a walk-up window, generous outdoor seating, (almost) no parking, and a massive cult following. At this point, however, the similarities end. You will not find a burger, gyros, or koubby on the menu at Falafel Stop; instead the focus is on shuwarmas, kebabs, and of course falafel.

There’s plenty of room to sit and be confused about your order.

We perused the menu, decided on our plan of attack, and obediently stood in line underneath a sign clearly indicating “Order Here”. (There’s a reason I make a point of this fact. More on this later.) While we were waiting, we were presented with piping hot samples of crispy, divine falafel complete with a drizzle of dipping sauce. Oh my goodness were they delicious, and quite an unexpected bonus as part of our visit. Plus one point for Falafel Stop.

Little golden balls of nom

We ordered a shuwarma pita, a Greek salad, some falafel, and a couple of sodas. We paid the cashier and he handed us two receipts. He said, “Head over to the grill for the hot food, but the falafel are from the kitchen so we’ll bring those to you. Let us know when you get the salad so we can put another falafel on that.” Even he seemed confused by this. We nodded dumbly, took the receipts, and looked around unsure of what to do next. “The grill will have your order, that’s what the other receipt is for,” he clarified.

Oh.

What?

We shuffled a few steps into the dining area, scanning our two receipts for a possible clue and glancing back at the dubious “Order Here” sign. At that moment, someone handed us our sodas and a little bag of falafel. The cashier stuck his head out of the door and said, “The kitchen already knew about your falafel so you can never mind that part.”

Huh?

Utterly flabbergasted, we decided just to sit down and see what would happen next. After a few minutes, someone walked out from what was apparently “the grill” and asked us if we had ordered a shuwarma pita. “Um, yes, we did,” I replied.

“Oh ok,” he said, “we have your order over here. I need your receipt.” I handed him one of the receipts. “The other one,” he said. I handed him the other one. He walked me over to the grill area and proceeded to expertly and swiftly construct my shuwarma pita, and it looked fairly amazing.

The prices at Falafel Stop appear to have been set using a random number generator.

I returned to the table with my grilled pocket of perfection, and we waited. Nothing seemed to be happening. We noticed an area next to the cashier that looked like it might be where the salads happen, and we guessed our other receipt might be required. It was. The salad people did their thing and before long our entire order had been completed. We think.

This is the pita bread you’ve been searching your whole life for.

Setting aside the ridiculous ordering process for a moment, let me just say that the food at Falafel Stop is nothing short of spectacular. The falafel were great (as I’ve already mentioned), the shuwarma meat was seasoned to perfection and plentiful, and the veggies were remarkably fresh. Even the salad was excellent. What really caught me by surprise, however, was the pita bread. Holy smoley, what a masterpiece. Pita bread is usually a forgettable, dry envelope that holds delicious things; it’s just a utensil, a throw-away. I don’t think I can even recall what normal pita bread even tastes like… but THIS stuff. Wow! It arrives fresh from the kitchen piping hot and fluffy – it’s truly a thing to behold. It falls somewhere between an English muffin and naan. Incredible.

It’s all Greek to me. Salad, that is.

In the end, I felt that the food at Falafel Stop edged out Falafel’s Drive-In. The two can’t really judged in a side-by-side comparison because they are so different, but if you asked me which of the two I’d rather visit next, I’d choose Falafel Stop. Unfortunately, the inane process to actually acquire food at Falafel Stop put a bit of a damper on their score, but I still feel that they deserve a solid 9 out of 10 fluffy pitas.

Pros
+ Falafel samples!
+ That pita bread, I don’t even
+/- More parking than Falafel Drive-In, barely

Cons
– Incomprehensible ordering system
– Seriously, what the hell

Falafel Stop
1325 Sunnyvale-Saratoga Road
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
(408) 735-7182
www.falafelstop.biz

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Standard Restaurant Review Disclaimer
The ambiguous and illogical rating system used in this review is not intended to be pinpoint accurate. It’s only there to give you a general idea of how much I like or dislike an establishment, and it also gives me an excuse to write silly things. If my rating system angers and distracts you, there’s a good chance you have control issues. I would also like to point out that I am not a highly qualified restaurant reviewer person, nor do I particularly care what that job is called. If you were under the impression that perhaps I was one of those people, consider your hopes dashed. Lastly, wow! You read the entire disclaimer. You get a gold star on your chart today.

Bacon jam

Posted on 12/26/2014 by Randomly Edible

Bacon is all the rage these days, and for good reason. For one, it’s freaking delicious. It’s also quite healthy and… No, wait. Not healthy. I meant delicious. So it’s delicious, delicious, and… Ok fine, you get the idea. One of the more unique ways I’ve found to enjoy this piggy delicacy is by means of bacon jam.

Skip to the short version

The bacon, it calls to you.

Yeah, bacon jam. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? Well get over it, because this stuff rules.

” Greatness is upon us “

If you want to be the talk of the next office potluck and/or the envy of your friends and neighbors, whip up a batch of bacon jam, stand back, and watch the magic happen. It’s very slightly sweet, intensely bacon-y, and marvelously satisfying. Bacon jam is good on crackers, toast, salads, eggs, pizza… The list is endless. It might even be good on ice cream, but I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to try that yet. This particular recipe is a slight variant of Chef John’s creation as posted on allrecipes.com.

Ingredients

1.5 lbs raw bacon
1 tbsp butter
2 or 3 large yellow onions
a pinch or two of salt
1/4 cup sherry or wine vinegar
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1.5 tsp thyme leaves
1 tsp black pepper
a pinch of cayenne pepper
1/2 cup water
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 tsp olive oil

Other stuff you’ll need

a large pot or Dutch oven
paper towels
sufficient willpower not to eat all the bacon before making it into jam

Directions

Fry up the bacon in whatever way you are most comfortable with, being careful not to overcook it. Crispy bacon good, blackened bacon bad. Blot the cooked bacon with paper towels and set aside; reserve a couple teaspoons of bacon grease for later use.

Hmmm, what to do with a spare 1.5 lbs of home-cured bacon? Oh I know.

Preheat your pot or Dutch oven on medium heat while you finely dice the onions. The “standard” recipe calls for 3 onions, but if you want your bacon jam to be extra super bacon-tastic use only 2 onions. Add the reserved bacon grease to the bottom of your pot along with the butter and saute the onions until translucent, about 8 to 10 minutes.

This is about what we’re going for.

While the onions cook, finely dice the bacon. You can use a food processor if you want, but I don’t like the bacon “paste” it creates in the process – I prefer to chop by hand.

Must… not… eat… bacon…. *convulses uncontrollably*

When the onions are done, add the brown sugar, sherry/wine vinegar, 1 teaspoon of thyme (save 1/2 teaspoon for later), cayenne, black pepper, and mix well. Add the bacon and water and simmer uncovered for 10-15 minutes or until a jam-like consistency is achieved, stirring often.

Greatness is upon us.

Remove from heat and stir in balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and remaining half teaspoon of thyme. And that’s all there is to it. Serve the jam warm with whatever you have handy to eat it with, be it bread or crackers or just a spoon. You’re welcome.

Why bacon jam? Why in the heck not?

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tl;dr

Bacon jam

Ingredients

1.5 lbs raw bacon
1 tbsp butter
2 or 3 large yellow onions
a pinch or two of salt
1/4 cup sherry or wine vinegar
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1.5 tsp thyme leaves
1 tsp black pepper
a pinch of cayenne pepper
1/2 cup water
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 tsp olive oil

Other stuff you’ll need

a large pot or Dutch oven
paper towels

Directions

Cook bacon, drain, and set aside. Saute finely diced onion in butter and 2 tsp bacon grease for 8-10 minutes or until translucent. Add brown sugar, sherry/wine vinegar, 1 tsp thyme (saving .5 tsp for later), cayenne, black pepper, finely diced bacon, and water, stir well. Cook over medium heat 10-15 minutes or until a jam-like consistency is achieved. Remove from heat, add balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and remaining thyme, stir until mixed through. Serve warm.

See also

Standard Recipe Disclaimer
I don’t come up with a lot of my own recipes (unless you count my own personal milk-to-Grape-Nuts ratio), and chances are the recipe posted above belongs to or was inspired by a person other than me. So if you’re wondering whether or not I ripped somebody off, I probably did. Don’t get out the pitchforks and torches just yet though! I want to make absolutely sure I give credit where it’s due, so if you think someone deserves recognition for something that I haven’t already called out FOR CRYING OUT LOUD LET ME KNOW. Thanks, I appreciate it. Here’s a cookie.

tl;dr

Posted on 12/24/2014 by Randomly Edible

You know what’s annoying? When you find a really awesome recipe online and want to make it, but the guy who posted it on his blog just keeps talking and telling inane stories and generally screwing up the entire recipe without ever really getting to the point. You are then forced to try and scroll through all the blabber without getting melted butter on your iPad, desperately trying to find the next step before your garlic burns.

I know this all too well, because this has happened to me. While re-making a recipe from my own blog, in fact. MY OWN BLOG.

Clearly, I need to tighten up my recipe directions a bit.

I assume you are all just far too nice to have complained to me about this, and for that you have my gratitude. As a token of thanks, I have added “tl;dr” sections to the bottom of every recipe I have posted to date, along with handy “Skip to the short version” links at the top of each page. Here, check it out for yourself. (For those of you scratching your heads, tl;dr is Internet slang for “too long; didn’t read” and is sometimes used to indicate a postscript summary.)

Neat!

And that’s about it. Don’t say I never got you anything nice for Christmas.

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The Spinnaker

Posted on 11/15/2014 by Randomly Edible

The Spinnaker is an odd place. It’s equal parts scenic lookout, seafood restaurant, seedy lounge, and blue-hair hangout. It’s dated, charming, hideous, and beautiful all at the same time. My brain was confused by what it experienced when I visited The Spinnaker, so I just went with it and tried to keep an open mind.

” There were more electric scooters than a bumper car factory “

The Spinnaker is located right in the middle of Sausalito, a painfully charming bay-side town just north of the Golden Gate bridge. Driving into the heart of Sausalito on a weekend is an exercise in patience. The roadway is quite literally packed with tourists on bicycles that are too busy gawking at the sunny weather to realize you are about to run them over. I’m all for sharing the road, but I wish these people would choose to share back.

This is an example of a sign that bicycle tourists ignore.

After a painful but scenic crawl along the length of downtown Sausalito, I finally managed to shoehorn the car into the very last parking spot in town. My lunch party and I started strolling towards The Spinnaker, debating what sorts of appetizers we should order. Arriving inside the restaurant is a bit like stepping back in time to 1982. Everything you see is dated and drab, including many of the other patrons. I don’t mean to be unkind, but there were more electric scooters than a bumper car factory.

Just as I was getting ready to make my mind up that I didn’t like The Spinnaker, the brisk and attentive host greeted us, added our names to the waiting list, and showed us to the cocktail lounge where we could wait for our table in comfort. Hmm, well, I guess they seem nice here. Within moments someone else stopped by to get our drink orders and see if we wanted to get started with an appetizer. She was helpful, competent, and within minutes we had a table full of wonderful-looking beverages in front of us.

Everyone likes a froofy drink.

And just like that, we were whisked away from the cocktail lounge to our lunch table. Our appetizers arrived at our new location with seamless perfection, and our new waitperson was ready and waiting to answer any questions we might have about the lunch menu. We didn’t care about any of that though, because we were simply stunned by the view. Wow.

That view.

Most of the dining area at The Spinnaker is situated on a pier directly over the water, providing amazing 270-degree views of the San Francisco Bay. Boats literally sail around you while you gawk in stupefied amazement.

Well, hello little shrimp. Join me for lunch?

We eventually snapped out of our scenery-induced haze and remembered that our appetizer was still sitting there, waiting for us. I usually don’t get all that excited about shrimp cocktail, but this restaurant’s version was very good indeed. Each shrimp was the size of a Mack truck, and the scratch-made cocktail sauce was spicy and flavorful.

Louie sure does make a good salad. Whoever he is.

Before long our lunch orders arrived, and the quality of the food continued to impress me. First up was Shrimp Louie, a San Francisco classic. Everything was fresh and delicious, and the bay shrimp weren’t the least bit fishy. As with the cocktail sauce from our appetizer, the dressing on the Shrimp Louie was the star of the show. Whoever is in charge of the sauces at this place is doing an amazing job.

Enough with green things. Let’s get to the fried stuff.

Continuing with the all-shrimp theme of the meal, I opted for an order of tiger prawns and chips. The batter on the shrimp was fantastic, and the shoestring fries/chips were light and wonderful. The remoulade and ranch sauces featured in the center of the plate were – you guessed it – absolutely top notch. I would certainly order this dish again, I loved it.

We sat and contemplated the view while we finished our shrimp-filled lunch, and we all agreed that we enjoyed our experience at The Spinnaker. First impressions were not all that good; this place is sorely overdue for an interior renovation. This was quickly forgotten, however, thanks to the excellent staff, incredible views, and high quality cuisine. I give this restaurant 4 out of 5 little cups of delicious sauces, a solid rating worthy of a revisit. The next time I’m in Sausalito, I will… Ok, honestly I will be going back to Napa Valley Burger Company. The next visit or three after that, though, I’ll be going back to The Spinnaker. On a bicycle. In the middle of the road.

The Spinnaker
100 Spinnaker Drive
Sausalito, CA 94965
(415) 332-1500
www.thespinnaker.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

All the comforts of being on a boat without the sea sickness.

Standard Restaurant Review Disclaimer
The ambiguous and illogical rating system used in this review is not intended to be pinpoint accurate. It’s only there to give you a general idea of how much I like or dislike an establishment, and it also gives me an excuse to write silly things. If my rating system angers and distracts you, there’s a good chance you have control issues. I would also like to point out that I am not a highly qualified restaurant reviewer person, nor do I particularly care what that job is called. If you were under the impression that perhaps I was one of those people, consider your hopes dashed. Lastly, wow! You read the entire disclaimer. You get a gold star on your chart today.

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