Stan’s Donut Shop

Posted on 12/14/2013 by Randomly Edible

If donuts are a religion, Stan’s Donut Shop is the Vatican. It’s as simple as that. This tiny hole in the wall has people lining up out the door just about every day of the week, and once you’ve been here you will understand why. Be warned: A single Stan’s donut will spoil you for life.

As far as I’m concerned, every single Friday is Official Donut Day. What better way to kick off the weekend than with a sugary hunk of fried calories? Unfortunately, you can’t really eat donuts every week; it’s what medical professionals refer to as “unhealthy”. Party poopers. The best way to justify a donut fix is to invent an excuse to buy some for somebody else, and that’s exactly what I did.

” It’s everything a donut shop should be and nothing it shouldn’t “

My wife and I are having a new house built in Sunnyvale. Lately I’ve been bothering the dickens out of the construction crew with helpful bits of advice like “Don’t forget to install the front door” and “Please stop screwing things up”. They must love it when I visit. I want them to do a good job on the house, though, and because I’m not above petty bribery I decided to bring the guys some Stan’s. Win-win.

This is one of those places you’d never visit unless someone told you to.

If you look up “hole in the wall” in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Stan’s Donut Shop. I wouldn’t quite call it a dive, but it’s close. Everything is clean and relatively well maintained, but exactly zero effort has gone into decor. That’s fine by me though – screw the ambiance, focus on the eats. The whole shop is barely wider than the doorway to get inside, and there is a simple glass case with a cash register immediately to the left of the entrance. There is also a bar to sit at; there you can ponder how many donuts to order and whether you’d like decaf or regular coffee. And that’s it.

1974 called. They want their leatherette and wood-like veneer back.

Alright, forget about the decor and everything else. First impressions are what matter most, and the first impression you’re going to get is that lovely, lovely display case I mentioned earlier. Just look at it. Ssshh, don’t say a word. Just… look.

Cue the Barry White music.

Ahh yeah.

Can’t decide what to try first? I’ll help you choose. What you’re really looking for is whatever it is that they’ve just dragged out of the fryer, and chances are that it’s a batch of plain glazed donuts. Stan’s glazed are so wickedly, incredibly, absurdly good that you really have no choice in the matter but to dump the contents of your wallet onto the counter and plead shamelessly for the nice people to hand you one.

A hot glazed donut from Stan’s is, without question, a bucket list item. They simply melt when you bite into them, and they are… Well, they’re perfect really. Even the very best Krispy Kreme donut you’ve ever had will seem like a distant, disappointing memory after experiencing a Stan’s plain glazed. Remember how I said earlier you’d be spoiled for life? I meant it.

If you’re lucky, you might even manage to get your hands on one of Stan’s legendary cinnamon rolls. They go fast, so you’ll need to get up early if you want a shot at one. They are very similar in texture to the glazed donuts, only curled into a spiral and cinnamon-y. Apparently, because the dough needs to rise overnight, only one batch a day is made – when they’re out, they’re out. You need to be super duper lottery-lucky to snag a cinnamon roll right out of the fryer, but let me tell you… It’s worth the chase, it truly is.

A Stan’s cinnamon roll can beat up your cinnamon roll.

Lady Luck must have been more than just smiling on me on this particular Friday, because I somehow managed to obtain a dozen glazed donuts straight from the fryer AND a hot cinnamon roll. Double score! I also picked up some additional assorted donuts, as well as my own personal favorite: A plain buttermilk.

No, this buttermilk donut is mine. You can’t have it.

If you’ve never had a buttermilk donut before, you’re missing out. It’s like a cake donut, only a bit more substantial. Stan’s buttermilks are somehow both denser and fluffier at the same time, and the perfectly golden brown exterior is delicate and ever so slightly crispy and crunchy. Mine was absolute heaven, just as I knew it would be.

I pulled up to the construction site with my bounty, and there didn’t seem to be anybody around. Strange. I got out of my car and grabbed the donut boxes, and suddenly the crew started coming out of the woodwork. Literally, I suppose. They were like a swarm of cats that had just discovered a crashed sardine truck – I was fortunate to escape with my life. I drove away to a chorus of thank yous and many gracious waves; I had done my good deed for the day, and I had ended up with a couple Stan’s donuts for myself to boot. I strained my arm a little patting myself on the back.

As much as I hesitate to hand out a perfect rating, Stan’s Donut Shop deserves one. I give it exactly 471 glazed donuts out of 471; it’s everything a donut shop should be and nothing it shouldn’t. Stan’s has taken a single, humble food and elevated it to a level you’d hardly believe was possible. If your travels land you somewhere vaguely in the western hemisphere, you absolutely must, must, must go here.

Stan’s Donut Shop
2628 Homestead Road
Santa Clara, CA 95051
(408) 296-5982

Follow @RandomlyEdible

A dozen doughy little angels, living in a box.

Beer can chicken

Posted on 12/09/2013 by Randomly Edible

There is something deliciously hilarious about this recipe that appeals to all men. Beer combined with bored hillbillies is guaranteed to result in either disaster or hilarity. In this particular case, depending on whether or not you are the proctologically doomed chicken in question, it’s a little bit of both.

Skip to the short version

” I have no intention of finding out what Schlitz logo ink tastes like “

In a stroke of blind luck (or pure genius), it turns out that this is one of the easiest ways you can imagine to cook up a juicy, tender, and flavorful bird. The basic idea is that you’re steaming the chicken from the inside while roasting it on the outside, and there a number of different ways to accomplish this. In addition to using beer as the “steaming medium”, you can also use wine, cola, broth, lemonade… the list is endless. I’ll detail my own favorite recipe below, but don’t be afraid to experiment with different flavors.

A bottle of booze and a couple things from the yard are all you really need.

Truth be told, I have never tried using an actual can of beer; there are all sorts of things in and on aluminum cans that were never intended to be exposed to high temperatures. I have no intention of finding out what Schlitz logo ink tastes like, so instead I use a specially made porcelain steamer thingy called a Sittin’ Chicken. There are a number of different options that also accomplish the same thing, most notably the Poultry Pal. Choose whatever gizmo you like best and start getting your ingredients together.

Ingredients

a chicken!
white wine
1/2 medium onion
1/2 lemon
4 or 5 fresh rosemary sprigs
olive oil
poultry seasoning

Other stuff you’ll need

a drip pan or disposable aluminum tray
a wooden skewer
a meat thermometer
a steamer to sit your chicken on (can of beer, Sittin’ Chicken, etc.)
someone to take incriminating pictures of you sticking things in a chicken’s butt

Directions

You can use either a barbecue or an oven to prepare this recipe. A regular old charcoal barbecue or grill is preferable, but anything capable of maintaining medium heat for a few hours will do. This recipe does best when the heat is concentrated below the chicken, so if your oven will do that sort of thing (sometimes called a “baking” setting), set it up that way. If you’re using a smoker or barbecue, you want direct heat right on the bottom of the chicken. Not tons of heat, but it should be direct as opposed to indirect. What we want to do is get the liquid in the steamer (or can) as hot as possible, preferably boiling. If you just roast or broil the chicken, the steamer will be the last thing to heat up and will only reach about 165 degrees, doing a poor job of providing flavor and steam. So, set up your oven or grill for direct, bottom-only heat and start it warming up. Aim for about 275-300 degrees F.

Cut up the lemon and the onion into rough chunks and put them in the steamer, filling it loosely about halfway. Place the rosemary sprigs in the center of the steamer, standing them up like a bouquet. Pour in the white wine, filling it almost all the way to the top. Place the whole thing in the center of your drip pan.

Please have a seat and enjoy the sauna.

Rinse the chicken with water, inside and out. Remove the giblets and any other nasty bits you find inside and throw them away. Or, if you have carnivorous pets, throw the giblets in the drip pan instead and they will become delicious and disgusting treats for later. Sprinkle a healthy amount of your poultry seasoning (I sometimes just use thyme and oregano) inside the chicken cavity. Carefully sit the chicken on top of the steamer, making sure all the rosemary sprigs end up inside the bird. Rub the skin thoroughly with olive oil and sprinkle or rub more of your seasoning on the outside. Using the skewer, “sew” the neck of the chicken shut so that none of the steam can escape. Put your new best bird friend in your oven or barbecue and begin rubbing your hands with glee.

The dinner guest has arrived.

Start checking the internal temperature of the chicken after about an hour. You will want to probe multiple locations with the meat thermometer, namely the legs, back, breast, neck, and cavity. Poultry is considered done at 165 degrees F, so make absolutely sure there aren’t any spots on the bird below that temperature. I tend to go a bit above that when making this recipe, mostly because you don’t need to worry as much about the meat drying out thanks to the steamer. I prefer my chicken (especially the dark meat) falling-off-the-bone tender as opposed to barely done, but that’s just me. Once the chicken is done how you like it, remove it from wherever it’s been cooking and try not to drool on it. Depending on the size of the bird, your particular grill or oven, and the type and degree of heat, it will take from 1 to 3 hours to cook completely. It’s done when it’s done; trying to force a specific timeline on it will only lead to tears.

Remove the chicken from the steamer and serve sliced, quartered, pulled, or just get in there with your bare hands and devour it like a wild animal.

Follow @RandomlyEdible

Now that’s what I’m talking about.

tl;dr

Beer can chicken

Ingredients

a chicken!
white wine
1/2 medium onion
1/2 lemon
4 or 5 fresh rosemary sprigs
olive oil
poultry seasoning

Other stuff you’ll need

a drip pan or disposable aluminum tray
a wooden skewer
a meat thermometer
a steamer to sit your chicken on (can of beer, Sittin’ Chicken, etc.)

Directions

Set up barbecue for direct heat, 275-300 degrees F. Cut lemon and onion into rough chunks and place in steamer along with rosemary sprigs. Fill steamer with white wine and place in center of drip pan. Rinse chicken with water, remove giblets, and place upright over steamer. Rub skin with olive oil and sprinkle with poultry seasoning. Use wooden skewer to sew neck hole shut. Roast chicken for 1-3 hours, until internal temperature is at least 165 degrees F. Check multiple points around chicken, including thigh joints. Remove from heat and serve immediately.

See also

By-Th’-Bucket

Posted on 12/07/2013 by Randomly Edible

By-Th’-Bucket is truly my kind of place, curious punctuation aside. It’s too bad really, because my last visit was about as uninspiring as Paris Hilton’s intellect. My love of anything and everything pasta usually means that I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to classic Italian eateries, but the permeating sense of ordinary just couldn’t be ignored.

It was a typical Saturday evening. Just like any other totally normal family, Shawn and I had spent the day walking the dogs, running errands, and using a power drill to fling natural rope fibers across the dining room. We decided that an awesome dinner was in order, and so we drove down the street to By-Th’-Bucket.

It’s Saturday night. Where is everybody?

” It was approximately as satisfying as not peeling the plastic film off of a new remote control “

I’ve been to this restaurant a number of times, and I’ve always liked it. It’s a blue-blooded seafood and pasta joint that’s been around for over 50 years – what’s not to like? Over the course of my last few visits, however, I’d started to wonder if they were slipping a little. No, that’s nonsense. I love all Italian food, and I love this restaurant. There can’t be anything wrong with it.

The menu at By-Th’-Bucket is extensive; there’s seafood, rotisserie meats, specialty pastas, pizza, steaks… The list goes on. I picked out gnocchi with meat sauce, and Shawn went for a Macho Man pizza. I wasn’t sure if I should feel amused or threatened that her meal would be manlier than mine. I decided instead to start humming the Village People hit of the same name, which resulted in a satisfyingly annoyed eye roll from across the table.

It’s gnocchi I guess.

Our food arrived after a slightly longer than average wait, and we dug in. My gnocchi was… Well, it was just extremely meh. It was about the same temperature as bathwater, and the sauce tasted like it came out of a jar. I didn’t hate it, but I could quite literally go to the grocery store and make the same identical dish with two basic off-the-shelf ingredients and a microwave. No, wait, it had a dried parsley garnish as well. Ok, so three ingredients. Ho hum.

This sure seems to be a pizza.

Meanwhile, Shawn was enjoying – no, eating – her pizza. “Do you like it?” I asked. She shrugged, rather unimpressed. I tried a piece and shrugged in exactly the same way. Just like the gnocchi, it wasn’t bad so much as it was just sort of… there. The ham, pepperoni, and salami toppings were all exactly what you’d expect to find for sale in a gas station. The crust was bready but acceptable, and I couldn’t tell for sure if it was handmade or not. The sauce was red and probably made out of tomatoes. It was approximately as satisfying as not peeling the plastic film off of a new remote control.

I was at a loss for what I thought of the meal, because there wasn’t really anything at all to think of. Shawn, reading the expression on my face, said, “There are just too many other really good restaurants around here to bother with this place.” Yep, that was it. She’d nailed it.

In conclusion, By-Th’-Bucket isn’t a bad restaurant. I give it a middle-of-the-road 20 out of 40 armpit temperature gnocchi, making it more or less worth a visit if you find yourself stuck in the immediate area without a car. Sadly, By-Th’-Bucket’s biggest downfall is that it just isn’t up to snuff with its peers. I’ll be giving them another chance at some point I’m sure, but who knows when that will be. If you’re looking for awesome Italian food in San Jose, head a mile down the road to Tony & Alba’s instead.

By-Th’-Bucket
4565 Stevens Creek Boulevard
Santa Clara, CA 95051
(408) 248-6244
www.btbbarandgrill.com

Follow @RandomlyEdible

I made it the whole post without a Bucket List joke.

Pumpkin butter cake

Posted on 12/04/2013 by Randomly Edible

I like to think of this recipe as a redneck twist on pumpkin pie. In truth, it’s a holiday twist on a popular redneck recipe, but let’s not split hairs. This decadent, gooey, decidedly bad-for-you dessert has become a holiday favorite among my friends and family, and it’s well on the way to becoming a tradition. Butter cake really isn’t a cake at all, more like a dense cake-pie hybrid; not even the most stoic pumpkin pie loyalists are immune to the allure of this stuff.

Skip to the short version

“Throw the box away, directions and all. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

Having been born and (mostly) raised in California, I had never heard of butter cake before a few years ago. All desserts in California are strictly forbidden by law to have flavor or calories, and they must also include organic agave syrup, Brussels sprouts, and lima bean flour. My spouse, a proud Texan, set me straight and introduced me to butter cake, and I have been a huge fan ever since. This particular recipe is essentially the same as Paula Deen’s, but with a couple of minor tweaks.

Ingredients

Cake

1 box of regular old yellow cake mix
1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
1 egg

Filling

1 can pumpkin (15 oz)
1 package cream cheese (8 oz)
1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
1 box (or bag) powdered sugar (16 oz)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg

Other stuff you’ll need

an electric hand mixer
a large mixing bowl
a 13×9 baking dish
insulin

Directions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Open up the box of yellow cake mix and dump the contents into the mixing bowl. Throw the box away, directions and all. Feels good, doesn’t it? It’s fun being a kitchen rebel. Melt the stick of butter (30 seconds in the microwave will do the job), pour it into the cake mix, and give it a quick spin with the mixer. Add the egg and mix well. On a quick aside, you need to be careful anytime you are mixing any hot ingredients with raw egg. If you add one directly to the other, you run the risk of partially cooking the egg before it can get properly mixed in. Anywho, when you’re done you should end up with a bowl of thick yellow stuff the consistency of cookie dough. Lightly grease the 13×9 baking dish and press the cake mixture into the bottom in an even layer. You don’t need to be gentle – just smash the hell out of it and make sure it gets all the way into the corners.

It looks like cake batter, but it’s oh so much better.

Now it’s time to start working on the filling. It’s very important to make sure the cream cheese is room temperature at this point – it won’t mix right when it’s cold. You can attempt to carefully microwave it if you so desire, but I never like how it turns out. If you’re working with refrigerator temperature cream cheese, really your best bet is to just leave it out on the counter and go do something else for 45 minutes.

Mix the (now softened) cream cheese and the pumpkin until well blended and silky smooth. Melt the butter and add it to the mixture along with the vanilla and eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, nutmeg, and cinnamon – feel free to double up on the cinnamon if you like. I find that nutmeg tends to clump, so make extra sure there aren’t any nuggets of the stuff lurking around in the sugar mixture. Biting into a powdery pocket of nutmeg is similar to eating underarm deodorant; avoid this if you possibly can. Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet, taking care not to fling powdered sugar into the farthest corners of your kitchen.

Pumpkin pie, eat your heart out.

Pour the pumpkin mixture on top of the cake layer. Using the back of a spoon, “coax” the pumpkin mixture into the corners of the pan and make sure the whole thing is nice and level. Carefully place the pan in the oven and set the timer for 50 minutes.

When the timer goes off, take the cake out of the oven. Don’t think, just do it. The cake will appear to be very liquidy, but don’t panic. Trust me. The first time I made this I thought I had completely screwed it up, but this is how it’s supposed to be. If you are using a glass pan, you will be able to see that the cake is nice and toasty brown on the bottom – that means it’s done. Resist the urge to bake it for longer and just let it cool for a while. It will set up nicely over the next hour or so.

Nomming will happen very soon. Oh yes, very soon indeed.

Slice it into squares, serve it with ice cream or Cool Whip or however you like it, and enjoy. You may never buy another pumpkin pie again.

I’m going to skip dinner and just have more of this.

tl;dr

Pumpkin butter cake

Ingredients

Cake

1 box of regular old yellow cake mix
1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
1 egg

Filling

1 can pumpkin (15 oz)
1 package cream cheese (8 oz)
1 stick unsalted butter (8 tbsp)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
1 box (or bag) powdered sugar (16 oz)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg

Other stuff you’ll need

an electric hand mixer
a large mixing bowl
a 13×9 baking dish

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine cake mix, 1 egg, and 1 stick of butter, melted. Press mixture into the bottom of lightly greased baking dish. Mix cream cheese and pumpkin until well blended. Melt remaining stick of butter and add to pumpkin mixture, along with vanilla, and 3 eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together powdered sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet, stir until evenly blended. Pour into baking dish on top of cake mixture. Bake for 50 minutes. Center will appear runny but will solidify as cake cools. Slice and serve once completely cooled.

See also

Butter & Zeus

Posted on 12/02/2013 by Randomly Edible

No really, that’s what it’s called. Butter & Zeus. As abstract and meaningless as that name might be, there’s something deliciously alluring about it. It makes you perk your ears up and say, “Eh? Butter and what?” It’s the kind of thing that sticks in your head, and the sheer absurdity means you won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. Just my kind of subtle genius.

” The barbacoa has a respectable oomph to it without completely destroying your nasal cavity “

The story begins where it so often does, with my wife Shawn and I discussing meal plans. She had been forced at gunpoint to head into the office for a day of work on Black Friday. I stayed at home, puttering around the house and doing my best to make the place look as though I had cleaned it. “Where do you want to meet for lunch?” she asked me over the phone. “What’s around here that we haven’t been to before?”

I didn’t know. I replied with a combination mumble-shrug-hrrmph that was intended to convey, “I’m not sure, darling, let me look up some restaurants on Google.”

“Oh, here’s one” she said, beating me to the punch. “Your head’s going to explode. It’s a waffle sandw..” I hung up on her and sprinted to the car. Waffles THAT ARE ALSO SANDWICHES?? My brain spun with the idea of this new devilry. As I drove, my phone buzzed with a text message: “Thought so. It’s called Butter & Zeus, on Tasman.”

Before you ask, no, I didn’t read the text while I was driving. I’m stupid in other ways besides that.

Gotta love a place with “butter” in the name.

As we walked up to the front of the restaurant, I was hit with major déjà vu. I’d been here before… and yet I hadn’t. Ah, now I remember. This used to be the location of Castle Greek Cafe, a place I’d been to a couple times and was never all that impressed with. The decor was different now, of course, with the most notable change being a huge, hand-written menu board just inside the door.

My comfort food senses are tingling.

Just look at all of those beautiful, unhealthy choices. After eating here, I’d really have to think extra hard about getting on the exercise bike before not doing it. The aroma of toasting waffles played through the air, causing my salivary glands to do whatever they damn well pleased. It was actually difficult to focus on choosing something from the menu with this going on, but we managed it. We eventually decided to split some barbacoa pork fries and a cheeseburger waffle. We paid the very reasonable bill at the cash register, filled our soda cups, and took a seat.

Of course they’re waffle fries. What else would they be?

Within just a few minutes, our pork fries arrived at the table. Jiminy Christmas, what a masterpiece. I don’t know who first came up with the idea of this sort of thing, but Butter & Zeus executed the concept flawlessly. The cola pulled pork (yes, cola) was absolutely to die for; nice lean strands of hand pulled pork were piled generously on top of impossibly fresh, golden fries. The barbacoa sauce coating the pork was quite spicy, but the cilantro lime dressing and sour cream helped to cut the burn a little bit. If you don’t like spicy stuff, stay as far away from this dish as you possibly can. If you’re in the mood to bring the heat, however, the barbacoa has a respectable oomph to it without completely destroying your nasal cavity.

The fries towards the bottom of the basket were pretty mushy, but the good news is that it’s because they were soaked with delicious saucy goodness. We just grabbed our plastic forks and soldiered on. Such is the way with dishes like these; if you don’t want your food to get soggy, eat faster. Just as we were savoring the last bits of our pork fries, the cheeseburger waffle arrived.

Waffles and burgers co-mingling? Scandalous.

And there it was, a cheeseburger made with a waffle. It looked exactly as I had expected: An all-American lunch perched atop an all-American breakfast. At first, I was only intrigued by the novelty of it all. I almost didn’t care what it tasted like, but as I bit into my wafflewich (I’m totally trademarking that term), I was amazed at how well everything went together. Honestly, the patty and the cheese were nothing special – you could even call them average. Put them between a couple layers of hot, crispy waffle, however, and you’ve created magic. Contrary to what your brain might try to tell you, the waffle wasn’t sweet. Yes, maple syrup is an optional topping at Butter & Zeus, but the waffle itself is just another kind of bread. A very tasty, very wonderful kind of bread. The little pockets are masterful at holding all the toppings and condiments, while the waffle itself does a good job of keeping everything together without being too filling on its own. Quite simply, waffle sandwiches are brilliant.

As we finished up our lunch, I took note of what the other patrons around us were eating. One table in particular was covered with nothing but orders of classic (and first on the menu) chicken and waffles, and it all looked very good indeed. There is no question that I will be eating here again, and soon. As we stood up to leave, the cashier asked us how the food was and if we enjoyed our lunch. It was a genuine question, not just a passing “How was everything?” that usually means “I hate my job, so please get out.” I chatted with the cashier for a while, giving my feedback and promising to come back, and he was happy to hear it. The folks at Butter & Zeus seem truly interested in how they are doing, and the dedication shows in their food.

Shawn and I had a great experience here, enough to land this place on our short list of restaurants to come back to regularly. Although I wouldn’t call this a high-class, fancy, or even hugely remarkable eatery, I will certainly sing its praises for solid execution, good prices, and a great concept. I rate Butter & Zeus 3.5 out of 4 waffle wedges, which should be more than enough to ensure that it shows up on your lunch radar. If you’re tired of trying to uphold a higher sense of culinary sophistication and just want simple, good food, this is the place for you.

Butter & Zeus
2213 Tasman Drive
Santa Clara, CA 95054
(408) 727-1800
Facebook: Butter & Zeus Waffle Sandwiches

I’m going to order the heck out of some chicken and waffles next time.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: